


Be My Sun

by matchasnow



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-05-27 19:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15031202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchasnow/pseuds/matchasnow
Summary: Hyejoo feels lowkey betrayed that Sooyoung wants to switch rooms with Jiwoo’s roommate so the two of them can be live-in housewives. But since Sooyoung is moving on to internship by the end of the semester and Jiwoo (who Hyejoo actually likes for her cousin and likes as an unnie) will be left behind for a couple more years, she still agrees. The catch, of course, is that Jiwoo’s roommate, Chaewon, would have to be Hyejoo’s new roommate now.





	1. Hi Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on my AFF account, Bluekimchi.

Hyejoo stares blankly at the wall just above the headboard of her bed while Sooyoung keeps on blabbering about things she’s yet to pack, things she has packed, and things that are Hyejoo’s that might have gotten in the things she packed. Hyejoo wants to say that if she had just channeled all that energy for actual packing instead of talking, she’d be done moving out of their shared room before nightfall. She doesn’t say it though. Because an argument will just break out between the two of them and Sooyoung won’t get to finish at all.

 

She momentarily takes her eyes off the wall to look at her cousin, now reaching for things under her bed.

 

“Hey, Sooyoung unnie?” She softly calls.

 

“Yeah?” Sooyoung’s voice comes out muffled from under the bed.

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

 

Sooyoung promptly crawls out to give her an incredulous look.

 

“Are you having second thoughts about this?”

 

“Will it change anything if I am?” Hyejoo asks with a hopeful tone.

 

“No, it will not.” Sooyoung deadpans. Hyejoo frowns at her and grumbles.

 

“Hyejoo-yah,” Sooyoung calls in that patient but somewhat conclusive tone. “We’ve planned this from the start. I roomed with you for your semester to help you adjust with uni. But now that you can make it on your own, I’m going to spend my last sem being close to Jiwoo as often as possible because next year is going to be internship year and I won’t be able to see her as much as I want to then!”

 

Hyejoo bites on her lower lip, trying her best to keep her mouth shut but she fails.

 

“But you’re already together 24/7!” She exclaims. “What difference would it make?”

 

“A lot, actually.” Sooyoung says. “It’ll be like we’re married!”

 

Hyejoo rolls her eyes.

 

“Okay.” Sooyoung gets up from the floor and sits next to Hyejoo on her bed despite her complaints of getting dust on her fresh sheets. “Let’s talk. I know this isn’t really about me and Jiwoo.”

 

“Oh, yeah? What’s it about?” Hyejoo challenges.

 

“Oh, you damn well know it’s about you-”

 

“Me-” Hyejoo attempts to sass back but she’s immediately shutdown with Sooyoung’s next words.

 

“And your tragic crush on Heejin!”

 

Hyejoo puffs her cheeks out and glares at Sooyoung. That was below the belt.

 

“Aww, c’mon, kid..” Sooyoung pulls at her and throws her arms around her for a hug. “I know it hurts right now and you want me to be around you to help you through it but I have to do this. I have to move out. You don’t have to worry about anything though! I’ll still be here for you! You do know that I’ll only be moving one floor up, right?”

 

Hyejoo melts into the hug and pouts. “It’s still not the same though.”

 

Sooyoung pats her back for a couple more times before she pulls away with a smile. “Don’t be like this, Hyejoo. Chaewon’s a good kid! She’s a good roommate to Jiwoo and she’ll be a good roommate to you too. I know you’ll get along well.”

 

Hyejoo pouts again. “But I don’t know her! I haven’t even met her! You know I don’t do well with strangers.”

 

Sooyoung scratches her chin in thought. “It is kind of weird that you two haven’t met yet.”

 

“Yeah, given all the time I actually spent playing Mario Kart in Jiwoo unnie’s dorm.” Hyejoo agrees.

 

“You know, I actually invited Chaewon to the New Year’s party but she couldn’t come because she had to be with her family.”

 

And so the New Year’s party is finally brought up. Hyejoo clears her throat loudly.

 

“Oops. Sorry.” Sooyoung mutters. “Anyway, she told me she’ll be moving in tomorrow instead of tonight.”

 

Hyejoo frowns. “Class starts tomorrow and she’s moving in tomorrow?”

 

“Hey, don’t judge. Some people actually like to be normal and not obsess about doing things very early like you do.”  

 

It’s in moments like this that Hyejoo takes pride in her fast reflexes because Sooyoung totally doesn’t have the time to block the pillow aimed at her face. It only takes a few seconds for Sooyoung to recover and to get her hands on another pillow. And so it erupts in a full-on pillow fight.

 

The cousins only stop when their door is pushed open and a girl walks in their room.

 

“Jiwoo unnie!” Hyejoo calls to the girl by the door.

 

“Baby!” Sooyoung’s face light up and Hyejoo could almost see hearts in her eyes.

 

It was too much of an opportunity to let go so she swings the pillow at her cousin’s head for the last time. The force of the blow causes the older girl to fall off the bed.

 

It elicits a loud worried screech from Jiwoo who starts to fuss over Sooyoung like she’s dying. Hyejoo swears she didn’t even hit her that hard.

 

She shakes her head as her satisfaction is short-lived, rolls her eyes at the sudden melodrama unfolding before her. And that’s all it takes for her to change her mind. If this is what she has to deal with everyday, it might really be a good idea for Sooyoung to just move out. She just hopes that her new roommate would be as nice as they say.

 

**& &**

 

Her phone had been buzzing with Jiwoo’s texts all night from updates about their new living arrangements to her usual mother hen-y texts (if she’s eaten, if she’s feeling alright, if she needs her and Sooyoung to come pick her up at the bus stop). It’s morning now and it’s still doing that and Chaewon can’t help but to roll her eyes. Don’t get her wrong. She appreciates her best friend’s concern but she feels that it kinda defeats the purpose of her agreeing to switch rooms with Sooyoung.

 

Chaewon knew she made it clear to the two of them that she wants to be more independent. Her decision to shift majors is the proof of that. She liked visual arts but having the same major as Jiwoo enabled the older girl to coddle her (even though she was ahead by one whole year). It’s like she had no room to explore things on her own with Jiwoo always three steps behind her, and where Jiwoo is, Sooyoung will be also, so that makes it the two of them. Chaewon hates thinking about it but if she’s going to be honest, it does seems like those two are her parents. They worry about her way more than her actual parents do.

 

It’s true that she’ll need Jiwoo and Sooyoung by her side always, one way or another, someway, somehow (and really, it’s impossible to get rid of them at this point), but she wants to prove to them that she can make it on her own. Like with minimal help from them. They can stop treating her like a baby because she’s a grownass woman now!

 

Chaewon hadn’t realize she’s stomping her foot too loudly until the dean’s secretary pointedly clears her throat. She tips her head to bow in apology before she throws her phone inside her backpack to be rid of her overbearing alleged mother’s concerns. She looks at the clock on the wall and curses the dean for being an inconsiderate buffoon. It’s the first day of classes for the new semester and he has the audacity to be late? She could be in class right now but she’s here waiting for him to finalize her transfer to the theatre arts department.

 

The door finally swings open and in marches the dean and he’s flanked by a young woman (maybe a couple of years younger than Chaewon?). Chaewon jumps to her feet at his appearance but he doesn’t take notice of her yet as he’s too busy looking over his schedule with the secretary.

 

“Good morning, Dean Im. Miss Yeojin.” The secretary greets the two.

 

“Yes. Good morning.” He takes a bunch of folders from the secretary and speedwalks to the door leading to his office.

 

Unlike him, the girl takes notice of Chaewon and gives her a curious look before he calls for her.

 

“Yeojin, get in here!”

 

The girl rolls her eyes first but follows just the same. Chaewon turns to the secretary who only holds up a hand at her. Is she gonna have to wait more? Luckily, it doesn’t take as long.

 

The dean calls for her and gives her a quick briefing. And trust her when she says quick because he was talking so fast he’s basically rapping. He hands her her transfer papers and shakes her hand.

 

“I’m sorry about this whole rush but I have a meeting to get to now. Allow my daughter, Yeojin, to show you around and get you acquainted with the facilities.”

 

“What? Dad???” Yeojin says in protest.

 

“Remember what we talked about last night, Yeojin? You do want to go to Taiwan with your sister, don’t you?”

 

“Fine.” Yeojin accepts defeat but not without rolling her eyes at her father again.

 

The dean exits soon after, leaving Chaewon alone with Yeojin.

 

“So, where’s your class at?” Yeojin asks.

 

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. I can find my way on my own.” Chaewon says, waving her hands in front of her.

 

“Uhh, no offense, but I’m doing this for myself. My dad means it. If I don’t show you around, he’s not gonna let me go with my sister to Taiwan.” Yeojin says with a look that says it’s settled.

 

“Uhh?”

 

Chaewon still wants to argue but Yeojin rolls her eyes and snatches her papers  from her. She leafs through it until she locates the printed copy of her class schedule.

 

“Sociology 101 Lecture? That’s in the social sciences building.” She mutters. “C’mon.” She starts walking and Chaewon follows.

 

“I told you I can find my way on my own.” She says, gripping the straps of her backpack as they walk.

 

“And I told you that I have to take what he said seriously!” Yeojin replies.

 

“Okay, okay!” Chaewon says in surrender. “Can you, at least, give me back my papers?”

 

Yeojin does so with a huff.

 

They walk in silence for the next few minutes.

 

“I haven’t properly introduced myself. I’m Yeojin. Im Yeojin.” Yeojin starts.

 

“Chaewon. Park Chaewon.”

 

After a beat of silence, Yeojin looks at her curiously again.

 

“So... you’ve switched majors, huh?”

 

“Yeah. Are you in theater arts too?” Chaewon replies, keeps the talk small.

 

“Yup. It’s not exactly a good idea since my dad’s the dean. But it can’t be helped. I really like theater.” Yeojin smiles and her eyes disappear into crescents. Chaewon can’t help but think that she really looks like a baby.

 

“Aren’t you too young to be in college?” She says before she could think it through.

 

Yeojin rolls her eyes for the umpteenth time.  Chaewon gets the urge to poke the girl’s eyes.

 

“I’m only eighteen, yes, but I graduated from high school! It’s not my fault that I’m brilliant and talented!”

 

From there on, Yeojin launches on a monologue about child geniuses and about being a child genius herself. Chaewon doesn’t catch the majority of it because she tuned her out after the first two minutes.  

 

They finally reach the social sciences building and Chaewon feels relieved that they’ll be parting ways soon. When they arrive at the classroom, she turns to Yeojin to say her thanks and bid her goodbye but Yeojin marches right in.

 

“Hey, where are you going? You don’t have to accompany me to class too!” Chaewon starts.

 

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, Chaewon. I’m in this class too.” Yeojin replies.

 

It’s as if the sky has gone dark and thunder clouds have rolled in.

 

“What?” Chaewon asks, dreads to her what the girl’s answer will be.

 

“Don’t just stand there. C’mon. I don’t know anyone in this class either. We might as well be seatmates.” Yeojin pulls at her hand and leads her to a seat at the back of the lecture hall as more students file in.

 

It doesn’t take long for the hall to be filled, and try as Chaewon may, she couldn’t  find another empty seat to take that’s far from Yeojin. The professor stands at the podium and class starts.

 

“The first day of classes is really boring.” Yeojin says as she takes a sheet of paper from the pile that’s being passed around. Chaewon takes one too and smooths it out on her desktop. “See? Course outlines! We should’ve ditched this and did something fun instead.”

 

Chaewon stares blankly at her and she gets narrowed eyes in return.

 

“My dad’s definitely gonna ask you things about me the next time he sees you so you better not tell him any of this, alright? Except for the part that I was so kind and diligent with showing you around, of course.”

 

Yeojin’s voice was a little too loud and Chaewon was no longer surprised that some students were throwing them judgmental looks. One in particular had caught Chaewon’s attention - a very pretty girl decked in all black on the row in front of them. She had only thrown one look of distaste in their general direction but it was enough for Chaewon to get a good look at her - long black silky hair, high cheekbones, a sharp jawline, cute nose, slightly droopy but nonetheless enticing warm brown eyes, and the most beautiful pair of lips.

 

It’s not really in her best interest to be checking girls out in class but the girl was just so pretty that she can’t help but stare. It’s a welcomed distraction too, with Yeojin talking about things that Chaewon can’t even comprehend at the moment.

 

“... anyway, I’m saying that we should be friends. Stick around me, you know and-”

 

“No!” Chaewon says without thinking.

 

“...No?” Yeojin asks in the brink of exploding.

 

“I don’t mean you, Yeojin.” She tries to backpedal. “I was just… thinking about some things.”

 

“Daydreaming in class, huh?” Fortunately, it works. “As I was saying, stick around me. I can get you in the higher circles of the department because I’m Im Yeojin.”

 

Chaewon nods whatever and keeps her mouth firmly shut for the remainder of the class.

 

**& &**

 

Paying attention in class turned out to be a difficult feat for Hyejoo because of some students who can’t keep quiet for even ten seconds. She knew picking seats at the back of the lecture hall was a bad idea but she can’t really do anything about it since Hyunjin was the one who picked the seats and Heejin naturally just followed her. And, well, Hyejoo didn’t have much of a choice, did she? So now, on top of Heejin subtly flirting with Hyunjin, Hyejoo also has to deal with noisy classmates. Why does god hate her so much?

 

Still, the second one’s easier to deal with so after throwing a glare over her shoulder (just a hint for the noisy classmate to pipe down), Hyejoo takes her pen and starts to aggressively doodle on the corner of her copy of the course outline. She lets her mind wander to keep herself distracted from the reality that Heejin’s hand is now wrapped in Hyunjin’s. Her pen scratches over the paper, drawing straight lines and curved lines until she has (what she likes to think is) a time machine.

 

She could really use one of those now. Like she could go back in time and stop herself from signing up to the same classes with Hyunjin and Heejin (why did they even pick the same classes when they have different majors?). Or she could go back to that damned New Year’s eve party at Sooyoung’s and stop Heejin and Hyunjin from kissing! She could lock Hyunjin in the bathroom and take her place in front of Heejin when the clock strikes twelve so she would kiss her instead of Hyunjin. Or go back much earlier and exclude Hyunjin from the friendship! No, that’s too much. That’s too mean. She’s not _that_ cruel. And it’s kind of impossible too since Hyunjin found her first and they took in Heejin some time after.

 

Her pen scratches the surface of the desk and Hyejoo realizes that she’s slashed a hole through it. She looks up apprehensively, sees Heejin looking at her curiously.

 

“Is that a...” The girl leans over her desk, looking closely.

 

“A design I made for a tower turret.” Hyejoo immediately says.

 

Heejin leans back and tuts. “You two need to lay off those videogames.”

 

“Can’t help it. It’s really fun.”Hyejoo whispers back.

 

Heejin shakes her head at her and then sidles up to Hyunjin again, resting her head on her shoulder as she turns to the front. Hyejoo just returns to her doodle, starts folding the slashed corners of the paper.

 

So much for using time machines to solve her problems.

 

**& &**

 

The professor starts making closing announcements and Chaewon sits up straight on her chair with one thing on her mind. She’s gonna bolt out of the lecture hall as soon as class is over to find a place to hide. She isn’t about to get stuck with a whiny brat for the rest of the semester, worse, for the rest of her college life. She’s going to get Yeojin off her tail and she’s gonna do it as early as now.

 

The doors above them finally burst open as the professor is the first to leave followed by the TA. Chaewon quickly makes a run for it. It’s not easy because everyone else is also heading for the door and Chaewon is rather small so she gets buffeted by the moving crowd but she knows she got a headstart from Yeojin when she hears the girl yelling _hey_ and _wait for me_ repeatedly.

 

But Chaewon would rather gouge out her own eyes than wait for her so she pushes past the bodies on her way and soon, the door is within her reach. _Freedom!_ Just a few more steps and she’s out! Except that something suddenly pulls her back and when when she looks behind her, she finds a hand gripping the back of her shirt. Attached to the hand is, of course, Im Yeojin, Chaewon’s latest nightmare.

 

“What the fuck?” Is what comes out of her mouth.

 

“I could say the same! Why are you in such a hurry?” Yeojin hisses as she stands off to the side, nearly hanging over the row of seats just to reach Chaewon.

 

“Let go of me!” Chaewon demands, pushing herself further up the steps.

 

In her struggle to escape, her hands end up grabbing a hold of the person in front of her. Specifically, she grabs onto the hood of the jumper that the person is wearing. The person turns their head to look at her and Chaewon gasps because it’s the pretty girl from earlier. In her shock, she lets go of her and keels backward at the force of Yeojin’s pull.

 

Great. Now, she’s going to roll down the lecture hall steps on her first class in the first day of the semester. Her eyes close on instinct and she feels herself falling until she’s not.

 

She feels arms around her waist and feels something soft pressing against her face. She opens her eyes and comes face to face with a pair of black mounds. _What?_

 

Chaewon is gently pushed back by a pair of hands and she looks up to see the pretty girl looking at her half-worried and half-annoyed (judging by the way her eyebrows meet). Chaewon is frozen in place, all plans of escaping forgotten. For whatever reason, Pretty girl doesn’t move either.

 

It occurs to Chaewon that they’re in the way but, luckily, the other students pay them no mind as they head off to the exit still. The crowd thins and Yeojin finally makes her way at Chaewon’s side.

 

Pretty girl frowns at Yeojin then looks away with a scowl on her beautiful, beautiful face. “You should really be careful next time. Lecture halls aren’t for horsing around.” She says and then turns on her heel so coolly.

 

Yeojin mimes punching Pretty girl and Chaewon has to stop herself from hitting the back of the kid’s head.

 

“Why were you in such a hurry?” Yeojin asks, turning to her.

 

“Why were you pulling at my shirt? I nearly fell.” Chaewon hisses.

 

“But you didn’t. And you even escalated things with that hot girl.” Yeojin points out.

 

“I- what?” Chaewon asks, shocked.

 

“I saw you checking her out so just consider that as me helping you out.” Yeojin says and it makes Chaewon’s eye twitch. As if it wasn’t enough, she even elaborates. “Your face was in her boobs, was it not?”

 

Chaewon’s face flushes deep red and it’s very noticeable because of her blonde hair.

 

“Thought so. You can thank me later. C’mon. We don’t want to be late for our next class!” Yeojin walks ahead of her and Chaewon finally resigns to her fate as she follows the younger girl.

 

**& &**

 

Hyejoo’s too long day finally ends and she heads back to her dorm room with only one goal, sleep. The hallways and common areas are still fairly empty of loiterers which could be an indication of how early it is into the evening but she couldn’t care less. She’s tired. She nears her door and stops when she sees it open. A couple of boxes are off to the side and Jiwoo pops out from the open door.

 

“Jiwoo unnie?”

 

“Hyejoo-yah!” Jiwoo greets her and throws her arms around her for a hug. Hyejoo actually feels a bit of her exhaustion drain.

 

Jiwoo pulls back and gives her a signature megawatt smile.

 

“What are you doing here? Didn’t Sooyoung unnie already get all her stuff out?” She asks.

 

“She did. We’re just here to help Chaewon with her things.” Jiwoo explains. She takes her hand and pulls her inside the room, calling out _baby, Hyejoo’s here_ as she does.

 

Hyejoo takes notice of two things: one, Sooyoung stocking groceries in the cupboards on the mini kitchen, and two, the blonde mane of hair sticking out from behind Sooyoung’s old closet. Jiwoo lets go of her hand and skips to the closet.

 

“Chaewon-ah, your roommate is here. Hyejoo’s here. Say hi.” Jiwoo says.

 

Hyejoo finds herself waiting expectantly for the girl to reveal herself. She’s heard a lot about her from Sooyoung and lot more from Jiwoo so she’s really curious to see what she looks like. Sooyoung did say that she was a good roommate to Jiwoo so Hyejoo allows herself to hope. As the closet door closes, she gets a look at her - a petite girl with wavy blonde hair and a cute face that Hyejoo has totally seen in sociology class earlier.

 

_Wait. What?_

 

“You’re Chaewon?” Hyejoo says, which she realizes is a really weird way of saying hi.

 

Either way, Chaewon just looks back at her with huge eyes. Without a warning, her face turns very red and suddenly-

 

“Chae, your nose is bleeding!” Jiwoo rushes to her and  Sooyoung crosses the room to get to the two of them with a box of Kleenex in her hand.

 

Hyejoo blinks and watches in a daze as the three of them disappear to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be writing backstories of the other characters and pairings in the same universe through a series I'm calling, To The Moon And Back. Check that out here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15054977/chapters/34901750


	2. No Thanks

Hyejoo watches with a sigh as Hyunjin redoes the knot of her shoelaces. Again. Like, how many times does she have to do that? It’s been five minutes and they haven’t done any actual running and they both have class in an hour and a half.

 

“Impatient, aren’t we?” Hyunjin smirks at her as she finally stands up but then busies herself with her smartwatch instead. Hyejoo rolls her eyes at her best friend.

 

“Just hurry up! I want to be able to shower before class.” She complains.

 

“Will you chill? It’s not like you’d have competition for the bathroom. You told me your roommate doesn’t even wake up until noon.” Hyunjin says but still crouches by the starting line of the oval.

 

“Your cute roommate.” She adds.

 

“Shut up. You have a girlfriend.” Hyejoo replies, annoyed.

 

“Oh, so you agree that she’s cute?”

 

Hyejoo chooses not to reply and just copies her friend.

 

Soon, they burst into a sprint at Hyunjin’s count. The wind feels great on her and her body just wakes as both energy and adrenaline course through her veins. But it isn’t enough to not have her mind flying off elsewhere.

 

Chaewon really does sleeps until noon which Hyejoo finds weird because she’s sure the girl has morning classes too. But then again, she wouldn’t put it past her to be the type of student who doesn’t attend class until it’s the last two weeks of the semester. And if she really is that kind of student, Hyejoo doesn’t know what she’d do. The thought of having a roommate who habitually skips class and makes do with C-’s and D’s just horrifies her. She values diligence and excellence so much. There isn’t anything she hates more than mediocre scholastic performance and academic delinquency.

 

“What are you thinking of now?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly not even ruffled in the slightest as they make their first lap.

 

“Nothing.” Hyejoo quickly says.

 

She bolts past Hyunjin, puts around a ten-meter distance between them. The girl catches up easily though.

 

“It’s not nothing! You have that disgusted look on your face!” Hyunjin claims.

 

“Do I?” She feigns an innocent look.

 

Hyunjin thinks for a minute before she raises a fist in the air. “Aha! What did your roommate do this time?”

 

“She didn’t do anything!” Hyejoo immediately says. Then she realizes how her words are double entendre. “Like, she doesn’t do anything? She doesn’t even go to class much?”

 

“Oh, fuck? Is she alright?” Hyunjin holds out an arm to block her from going forward, so they can see eye to eye.

 

Hyejoo looks back at her as she jogs in place.

 

“No, of course not! You know I hate it when students don’t take their education seriously.”

 

“No, you asshat. I mean, is she feeling fine?” Hyunjin says. Hyejoo looks at her confused and the older girl sighs.

 

Hyunjin lets out a breath and then with a gentle voice says “Hyejoo, not everyone has the same capacity to function as you.”

 

Hyejoo raises an eyebrow at her.

 

“Some actually struggle with even the simplest of daily tasks and that’s why we have to be nicer to people.” Hyunjin adds before she starts sprinting again.

 

She had that sort of superior look on her face whenever she schools Hyejoo about something and it ticks her off.

 

This time, it’s her who catches up to Hyunjin.

 

“You have the nerve to tell me that? You know you’re not as nice to other people if they’re not Heejin.”

 

Hyunjin returns her frown. “Hey, I’m trying, alright?”

 

Hyejoo shakes her head at her before she speeds past her again.

 

Out of the two of them, Hyunjin might have been the only one who pursued track, since graduating from high school, but Hyejoo’s always been faster. On the track, that is. Making a move on the person she likes doesn’t count because clearly, Hyunjin’s faster in that area.

 

**& &**

 

The sound of their dorm room slamming shut is what wakes Chaewon up. She lifts her head lazily to look around the room and catches sight of Hyejoo’s back heading into the bathroom. With a groan, she buries her face in her pillows again, wishing to go back to sleep. But her alarm just has to go off loudly.

 

She has gotten so used to sleeping through it that she almost forgot she had an alarm. She reaches her hand out to put it on snooze but her hand collides with something soft and warm instead.

 

Chaewon looks up and sees Hyejoo kneeling by her bed, one hand extended towards her phone on the nightstand and the other rubbing her cheek.

 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” She exclaims, sitting up. She hastily grabs her phone to turn the alarm off, hopes that Hyejoo doesn’t notice her blush.

 

“It’s okay.” Hyejoo has that signature lazy blank expression on her face. And Chaewon can’t tell if it’s just that or if it’s secretly full of anger.

 

“I thought you were gonna sleep through it again so I was going to turn it off for you.” The younger girl mumbles.

 

Chaewon blinks in realization. “Have you been turning it off for me all week?”

 

Hyejoo sighs as she stands. “Yes. Why do you even set an alarm if you’re not going to wake up?” She doesn’t wait for Chaewon to answer and just goes back to the bathroom.

 

Chaewon opens her mouth and promptly closes it. She grabs a pillow to bury her face in as she groans loudly. Perhaps she has annoyed her roommate again without even trying.

 

A week had already passed since their eventful first meeting but Chaewon still feels another nosebleed coming on when she remembers it. It was totally Yeojin’s fault, too, and it’s just not fair that she has to suffer like this.

 

How was God good enough to give her a hot roommate but not good enough to give her the social graces to actually seem like a normal person to that said hot roommate? And why the fuck did Sooyoung not tell her that her cousin looks like a K-pop idol? A little heads up would’ve helped. If Sooyoung weren’t so tall and Jiwoo wouldn’t hate her for it, Chaewon would totally knock off a few of her teeth for this betrayal.

 

Her phone buzzes again and this time it’s a message from Sooyoung herself, reminding Chaewon of their plans to meet later. She doesn’t know how long she sat there, staring into space but Hyejoo comes out of the bathroom soon, looking fresh and made up, ready for her day. Chaewon feels a little self-conscious, still in her pineapple pajamas.

 

“H-hey, Hyejoo?” She tentatively calls.

 

Maybe it’s because she knows the girl dislikes her and she just has to do something about it or maybe it’s her little gay heart wishing to bridge the gaping distance between her and her hopeless crush.

 

“Yeah?” Hyejoo asks but doesn’t look at her, too busy packing her things for class.

 

“I’m meeting Sooyoung unnie and Jiwoo unnie for lunch later. Do you maybe wanna come with...?”

 

Hyejoo doesn’t even take a second to reply. “No thanks. I already have plans with my friends.”

 

She turns to Chaewon and shoulders her backpack as she does.

 

Chaewon blinks back at her. “O-okay. Maybe next time then?”

 

“Hmm.” Is all she says and then leaves.

 

Chaewon sighs at the overwhelming evidence. Hyejoo totally hates her. She can’t blame her though. She really did not set the best first impression. But it’s going to be alright because Chaewon’s already devising a plan and she’s going for a reversal.

 

**& &**

 

Hyejoo returns to the dorm feeling sore from having to listen to lectures for three hours straight. Feeling like a good long nap is in order, she walks towards her bed but stops midway at the piece of clothing that makes contact with her socked feet. She bends down to pick it up, holds it up with her thumb and forefinger. Her frown is automatic as soon as she realizes what it is - Chaewon’s sleep shorts from last night.

 

The door opens and she whips her head around, sees Chaewon standing there, already looking sheepish.

 

“Ah, so there’s where I left it.” She mumbles, taking careful steps towards her. Hyejoo tosses it to her and she catches it clumsily.

 

“Laundry day?” Hyejoo asks for something to say.

 

“Yeah.” Chaewon replies. “I could maybe throw yours in with mine if you have any?”

 

Images of her precious neutral colored clothes mixing colors with Chaewon’s pastel wardrobe flash within Hyejoo’s mind and she shakes her head quickly.

 

“No thanks. I’m good. My laundry’s good.”

 

Chaewon puffs her cheeks and nods slowly.

 

“Okay. If you say so.” She turns on her heel and goes, looking dejected.

 

Hyejoo bites down on her lip, feels just a tad bit guilty. Is she being too harsh on Chaewon? It’s not that she totally ignored Hyunjin’s words but she can’t help it! Over the past few days, it’s just been made clear to her that the two of them are very different. And it’s not just their differences, Chaewon somehow also managed to block out on Hyejoo’s pet peeves bingo.

 

The girl walks around when she brushes her teeth, dripping foamy toothpaste everywhere. She forgets to refill their water stock on the mini fridge and Hyejoo has to do it for her. She plays her music on loudspeakers too without any consideration for Hyejoo (Lord knows how many times she hears that banana allergy monkey-banana milk song each day). And did she mention that she constantly leaves a trail of things (snack wrappers, dirty clothes, plushies that fall off her unmade bed) in the room? She has that noisy friend in class too! Sure, it isn’t really her but she should be guilty by association.

 

So, yeah, maybe Chaewon is cute but she has all these quirks that annoy Hyejoo to the bone. How are they even going to last one semester together?

 

**& &**

 

Yeojin is up on her usual bullshit in class. Chaewon has slowly gotten used to it so much that she can just filter her voice out like it’s white noise on a busted pair of earphones she’s using. Maybe it helps that Hyejoo’s sitting right in front of her but trust her when she says she’s trying not to stare as much now, knowing how she’s probably dust in the girl’s sight. And since she’s had a little time to think, it probably isn’t a good idea to be crushing on her roommate.

 

The professor clears her throat and Chaewon snaps to attention just in time to catch the announcement.

 

“...So, for this presentation, I’ll let you form your own groups. Just make sure that there are five members in your group. List your group mates’ name in a piece of paper and submit it to the TA next week. I’ll let you do the groupings now.”

 

The lecture hall erupts in a buzz as students call to other students, handpicking alliances that would benefit them or else just shamelessly going with their friends.

 

“Hey, I know some people we can group with.” Yeojin says.

 

“Who?” Chaewon looks at her curiously.

 

“Yerim who’s also in Intro to Communication with us and then Donghyuck! That means we only need one more! I’m gonna go get them before they join another group.” Yeojin stands and runs off to the other side of the hall.

 

“You find us that last member!” She calls to Chaewon as she goes.

 

Chaewon swallows. Is she about to do this? She doesn’t know anyone else apart from her and Yeojin.

 

Her hand shakes but she still taps Hyejoo on the shoulder. Her roommate turns to look at her. The girl next to her does too, gives Hyejoo a curious look.

 

“Hey, do you want to group with me and my friend? We only need one more person.” Chaewon says, nervous.

 

“Uh, no thanks. I’m already in a group with my friends.” Hyejoo gestures to the two girls next to her. Chaewon hadn’t notice them before but they’re equally stunning as Hyejoo (birds of the same feather, probably).

 

She nods quickly, tries not to feel too disappointed. What was she even expecting? She ends up turning to the upperclassman sitting behind her and asks him instead. He says yes but Chaewon still feels a little sad.

 

**& &**

 

Hyejoo cackles over Sooyoung’s panicked button smashing as she tries to throw her Metal Mario off with a Koopa shell. It’s fruitless though. At the look of things, Hyejoo will be getting that free dinner tonight. She knew her cousin was biting off more than she can chew when she challenged her to bet on Mario Kart (loser buys the winner whatever they want for dinner and dessert!) What was Sooyoung thinking? Hyejoo’s been playing this game since she was in elementary school and she isn’t going to lose to a novice.

 

Eventually, Hyejoo’s character crosses the finish line first. She throws her controller down on the beanbag and screams her victory cry.

 

“Yes! Take that, Grandma!”

 

Sooyoung huffs, rolls her eyes. “Ugh. I know you’re overjoyed but leave our grandmother out of this.”

 

Hyejoo sticks her tongue out in her direction.

 

“Whatever! Now, you have to buy me dinner.” She says with a smug look on her face.

 

“Okay. What do you want?” Sooyoung asks with a blank look on her face.

 

“Can we get jjajjangmyeon?” Hyejoo asks, big smile on her face contrasting her cousin’s expression.

 

“There’s a menu taped to the door of the mini fridge. Pick what you want. Let me just call Jiwoo first.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Where is she?” Hyejoo asks, bending by the fridge to peruse the menu.

 

“Out with Jungeun and Chaewon.” Sooyoung replies, not even looking at her.

 

Hyejoo nods in understanding. So, Jiwoo’s out with her friends tonight. But then why is Sooyoung not out there with her best friend, Jinsol? She isn’t complaining though. She’s getting free dinner after all.

 

Sooyoung talks to Jiwoo on the phone for a good ten minutes. Hyejoo hates to admit it but for a brief moment, her mind wanders to thoughts of Heejin. What she could be doing. If she got home safe. They called each other a lot last semester, when 2Jin wasn’t a thing yet. And she stops herself, realizes that the she’s probably out on a date with Hyunjin. At which point, she pretends to gag over Sooyoung cooing softly on the phone to Jiwoo for spite.

 

When that was done and they’ve finally ordered, Sooyoung casually turns to her.

 

“So… you and Chaewon?” The older girl starts.

 

“Sorry?” Hyejoo blinks back at her cousin.

 

Sooyoung smiles patiently. “How are you two as roommates?”

 

“Uhh…”

 

“Not rosy?” Sooyoung asks and Hyejoo purses her lips. “Chaewon wouldn’t say anything about it so I figured something wasn’t right.”

 

It finally clicks in Hyejoo’s mind. This was all planned. Maybe it was her pride that got in the way but now that she thinks about, Sooyoung did seem too easy to beat tonight.

 

“Look, I know you had an unusual start. And before you say anything, Chaewon didn’t tell on you. She just had to spill the beans because we wouldn’t stop bugging her about it. And Jiwoo may or may not have gotten dramatic about the whole thing, too. She had no choice but to tell us about the lecture hall incident.“

 

“It wasn’t just because of that! I really don’t mind that one bit but she keeps on doing things that annoy me!” Hyejoo says in her defense.

 

Sooyoung nods, in acknowledgment. She carefully picks her words before speaking again.

 

“But that’s thing, isn’t it, Hyejoo? When someone we dislike does something, we find it automatically annoying.”

 

Hyejoo keeps her mouth shut, totally caught.

 

“Chaewon is a klutz. More often than not. But she tries to be better. Ask Jiwoo and she’ll tell you how she spent her whole childhood running after Chaewon like a soccer mom!” Sooyoung says. “I got dragged into the whole thing too, even before Jiwoo and I started going out but, I promise you, Chaewon is one of the most precious people I know and you know I know a lot of people.”

 

Hyejoo keeps her head down, fiddles with her fingers.

 

“She tries, Hyejoo. Maybe you should give her a try too.” Sooyoung says softly.

 

“Jiwoo unnie really did that for her?” Hyejoo asks after a long pause.

 

Sooyoung looks at her thoughtfully.

 

“I guess we do have some things in common after all.” She finally admits.

 

Her cousin smiles at that.

 

They don’t talk about it anymore for the rest of the night but both of them knew that Sooyoung’s job was done here.

 

**& &**

 

Running to the dorms with her arms full of photocopies of their class’ production script probably isn’t a safe way to be heading home but Chaewon needs to get started on her laundry fast if she wants to make it to dinner with Jiwoo on time. This proves to be the truth when she eventually bumps into someone and drops the stacks of paper she’s carrying. And just her, luck (or lack of it), it’s Hyejoo again. As if she needed another reason to be hated by her roommate.

 

To her surprise, however, Hyejoo just looks at her and gives her a small smile before she bends down to help her gather her things.

 

“I-” Chaewon stammers, feels shocked about the whole thing.

 

“Going somewhere?” Hyejoo asks her.

 

“J-just heading back to our dorm.” Chaewon gets on her knees and quickly helps Hyejoo before the girl can change her mind. “What about you?”

 

“Heading back, too.” She replies.

 

Hyejoo looks over her shoulder once and that’s when Chaewon notices that she’s with her friends (her really pretty friends). They’re walking ahead of her and they still haven’t seen Hyejoo stop to help her.

 

“Oh, they’re just walking me home.” Hyejoo says when she sees her curious look.

 

“I see.” She mumbles.

 

One of Hyejoo’s friends stops and points them out to the other. And soon, they’re walking back to them.

 

“Hey, there! You’re in SOC 101 class, too, right? You sit behind us.” The shorter of the two says just as Chaewon finishes gathering her pile (Hyejoo had finished with her share a couple of minutes ago and is now trying to organize it in a neat stack).

 

“I’m Heejin.” The girl continues, smiles brightly at Chaewon.

 

“Ah, yes. I know you.” She replies. “I’m doing backstage for Prof Han’s production. You’re the understudy.”

 

Heejin beams. “Ooh, yes! You’re a theater arts major too? Nice to meet you…?”

 

“Chaewon.” She stands up and gives the girl’s hand a shake.

 

“And Chaewon also happens to be Hyejoo’s roommate.” The other one speaks, smiles a knowing smile at her. “I’m Hyunjin, by the way.”

 

Hyejoo just remains quiet. When Chaewon notices this, she makes to take the papers from her but Hyejoo only shakes her head, much to her shock.

 

“I can carry this for you. We’re both heading to the dorm anyway.”

 

Chaewon is at a loss for words. This is the longest conversation Hyejoo’s had with her.

 

“Can Heejin and I go then? You have Chaewon to walk home with now.” Hyunjin asks, wiggles her eyebrows at Hyejoo who frowns back at her.

 

“Fine. You can go.” But she dismisses them just the same.

 

Heejin and Hyunjin bid them both goodbye and go their way, holding hands as they did. It finally dawns on Chaewon and she makes an _ah_ sound at the realization that those two are dating.

 

The walk to the dorm is punctuated in silence. When they reach their room, Hyejoo places the stack of papers on Chaewon’s desk and immediately faceplants on her bed.

 

Chaewon can’t help but to be curious. Was it something she did again? Was it something else? Hyejoo’s sour mood did only make an appearance when Hyunjin and Heejin left. It’s intriguing but she isn’t going to push her luck with her today. It’s already an amazing feat that Hyejoo helped her and walked home with her.

 

Remembering what she has to do, she gathers her laundry, throws her used pile of clothes on a basket. She’s at the door when something brings her to ask. Her attempt is probably going to fail this time too but she has to try.

 

“I’m going to do my laundry. Do you wanna come with me?”

 

Hyejoo lifts her head up and blinks at her. “Can you give me time to fix my pile first?”

 

It takes all of her strength to not drop her basket upon hearing that.“Y-yeah, sure.”

 

Hyejoo gives her another small smile (Chaewon nearly swoons) before she bustles around the room to get her clothes. When they head down to the laundry room together, she finally gives in and texts Jiwoo to tell her that she’ll be running late to dinner because for the first time, Hyejoo’s answer isn’t _no thanks_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Du du ru du, du du ru du~ ah, crushes. young love. anyway, let me know what y'all think. leave comments!


	3. You Don't Have To

Saturdays for Chaewon usually meant sleeping in and staying in the dorm until late in the afternoon or until Jiwoo and Sooyoung literally drag her out and take her with them to whatever adventure they come up with. But today, it’s different. It isn’t even 9AM yet but she’s out of bed, dressed and set for a long day of rehearsals. That’s right. Today is the first day of rehearsals for Professor Han’s production aka Chaewon’s first major class requirement after switching majors.

 

It’s a big thing and she’s full of nervous energy as she scurries around the mini kitchen, making sandwiches to eat for later. She’s been told by their seniors that they would have a lot to do today and probably wouldn’t have time to get food later. That being the case, she thought it would be a good idea to bring a little with her. _A little_ would probably be an understatement because she’s made extras for Yeojin and Yerim. No one’s ever going to catch her admitting it aloud (because she just isn’t that type) but the two have grown on her.

 

Yeojin is loud and annoying most of the time but she’s also quite adorable. The thing is, she’s still just a kid and Chaewon really can’t help but want to take care of her (albeit, as subtle as possible). Yerim, on the other hand, is much easier to deal with. Her brightness, energy, and warmth is something very familiar to Chaewon, like she could just be a younger version of Jiwoo. Call it weird or whatever, but she finds herself caring about Yerim like how Jiwoo worries about her.

 

She tries not to overthink things as she finishes the sandwiches and packs it in a medium-sized container. It is a little too early to be feeling sentimental about her new friends. She catches a glimpse of the time on her watch and she’s just about ready to leave when she sees Hyejoo slowly sitting up on her bed.

 

Her eyes widen and she swallows. It isn’t new but Hyejoo yawning cutely and running a hand through her hair prettily like she’s in some sort of commercial ad never fails to make her heart feel things.

 

“G-good morning.” Chaewon stutters, coughs to cover it up. It’s lame but at least she didn’t do anything embarrassing like fall on her face or whatever.

 

“Yeah. Good morning.” Hyejoo greets back, hands rubbing away the sleep from her eyes.  

 

Chaewon’s gaze lands on the plate of sandwiches she had purposely left for Hyejoo and she goes into panic. She hadn’t expected her to wake up before she leaves! Hyejoo was up late last night playing League and she thought that she’d wake much later which is why she planned to be casual about making food for her. She isn’t sure if Hyejoo had noticed her crush on her but she’d rather she doesn’t. Anyway, that plan is ruined and Chaewon crumples the note she had prepared behind her back. _So much for being cool about it._

 

Oblivious to her internal dilemma, Hyejoo just blinks and studies her with those beautiful, beautiful eyes of hers.  

 

“Are you going somewhere?” She finally asks.

 

“Yeah. We have this class production and rehearsals start for it today.” Chaewon explains, hopes she doesn’t sound as panicked as she feels.

 

Hyejoo nods slowly in understanding.

 

_It’s now or never._

 

“I, uh, made some sandwiches.” Chaewon swallows again.

 

She looks down on her hands then up at Hyejoo (is it her imagination or are the corners of the girl’s lips turning up to smile a little?). “I mean, the filling is just cookie dough and banana slices but yeah… I made some for you too. That is if if you want it. I can-”

 

“Of course, I want it.” Hyejoo cuts her off. This time, she really does smile at her and it sets fireworks off in Chaewon’s poor heart. “You made them for me so I’ll eat it.”

 

Hyejoo lazily kicks off her blankets and gets up from her bed. She crosses the room to get to Chaewon (who might be too dumbfounded to move).

 

“R-really?” Is all she can manage to say.

 

“You sound surprised. Did you actually want me to refuse?” Hyejoo jokes, smirks playfully at her.

 

Chaewon’s face heats up and her eyes dart away and start looking everywhere but at her roommate.

 

“No. It’s just that… I pegged you to be a savory sandwich kind of gal.” She lies because that sounds way better than _you’re pretty cool and I didn’t think you’d want my dumb sandwiches_. She even adds in a shrug to make it convincing.   

 

Luckily, Hyejoo buys it and shrugs back. “Eh. I like both, I guess. And cookie dough and banana is a pretty good combination.”

 

“You think so?” Excitement rises in her. Is this for real? She’s talking about sandwich fillings. With her crush! “I like peanut butter and banana too! And PB&J, especially!”

 

“PB&J outsold.” Hyejoo agrees with a nod.

 

She stands in front of her now, looking breathtakingly beautiful even though she literally just woke up. She tilts her head as she looks curiously at the container full of even more sandwiches.

 

“You made a lot, huh?” She mumbles.

 

“I made some for Yeojin and Yerim too since I get the feeling that they’d steal mine if I don’t.” Chaewon says with a blank face.

 

“Really now? That’s thoughtful of you.” Hyejoo’s smile is knowing, like she totally saw through that.

 

“But isn’t it dangerous for them to be running around on energy from cookie dough and banana sandwiches? They’re already pretty hyper as it is.” She wonders aloud.

 

Chaewon laughs at that. “Nah. Just for today, I think the energy would be useful.”

 

Hyejoo chuckles before she finally picks up a triangle cut sandwich from the plate and takes a bite off it. Chaewon’s heart beats so loud she can practically hear it as she waits for her reaction.

 

“Hmmm.” Hyejoo says, gives her a thumbs up. “This is good. Thanks, Chaewon.”

 

Chaewon cannot and does not fight the smile that makes its way to her lips. She feels giddy seeing that light smile on Hyejoo’s face, feels proud to know that she’s responsible for it. She thinks that maybe this is what they call being on cloud 9 because she feels as though she’s floating with joy. And she regrets it so much that she has to cut it short. Happy crushes, especially on hot roommates, are supposed to stay harmless. She shouldn’t read too much into it.

 

“It’s nothing. Well, I have to get going now.” Chaewon mutters.

 

She grabs her stuff, shoves everything in her backpack and tries not to look at Hyejoo as she does. Is it her imagination again or is she pouting a little? But Chaewon doesn’t have the time to clarify. And frankly, she doesn’t know what she would do if Hyejoo really was.

 

“I’ll see you later then, Hyejoo.” She gives her roommate a small wave and goes.

 

**& &**

 

It’s the same dream again.

 

It’s Hyejoo and her friend’s first time to attend Sooyoung’s annual New Year’s Eve party. She holds in her hands a box containing a silver necklace with a bunny pendant on it. It’s a gift for Heejin, something she wanted to give to her, along with her heart.

 

It was a long semester. Hyunjin’s estrangement with them has led to frustration and tears, especially to Heejin. It was unsettling for Hyejoo to see her friend, who was always bright and optimistic, not smiling. At first, she thought that it was simply just that but with each day that passed, things became clearer to her. It hurt to see her cry because she has feelings for her. Heejin who’s always taken care of her, who’s always worried about her, who’s always been by her side had always held a special place in her heart without her even knowing. She deserves the world and Hyejoo wants nothing more than for her to be happy. She’s confident that she can do that so even though it took her a long time to make sense of her feelings for her, she’s going to act on them fast.  

 

It’s a few minutes to midnight and it’s just about the right time. Thrilled, she heads for the balcony where Sooyoung told her Heejin would be. But she freezes by the glass doors when she sees it all.

 

Heejin and Hyunjin are talking, shouting by the looks of it. Heejin cries as she pulls at Hyunjin’s sweater, shakes her and hits her. Anger swells up inside of Hyejoo and she’s so ready to fight Hyunjin for making Heejin cry again but what happens next crushes all of her - Heejin rushes forward to Hyunjin and Hyunjin is suddenly kissing her and she’s kissing her back. All traces of emotion leaves her. It’s like her soul was squeezed out of her body and she can’t feel anything after that.

 

She doesn’t remember what happened next but the bunny necklace ends up on a trashcan by the end of the party.

 

Today, too, she wakes up from that dream. It only takes her a split second to acknowledge that it’s also her sad reality so when Chaewon offered her sandwiches and small talk, she took it as a welcomed distraction.

 

Hyejoo doesn’t want to make a big deal out of their relationship now, but ever since the two of them did their laundry together, things became rather comfortable to the point that they can tease each other (mostly, Hyejoo to Chaewon). Suffice to say, Sooyoung was right about the girl and Hyejoo’s glad she listened to her.

 

She hadn’t realized it before, when her prejudice was in the way, but Chaewon has several admirable qualities to her. She goes about stuff (doing her homework, cleaning their room, making food, _everything_ ) in a slow manner and that kinda gives off a vibe that she isn’t trying but she is, and she tries really hard too. She has a tendency to procrastinate and is often late but in the end, she always comes through. These sandwiches are a small proof of that.

 

Hyejoo finds herself smiling at Chaewon’s slow chatter and huge moon eyes over every small thing she says. Her reactions are always so refreshing to see and it’s quite cute how she gets excited over sandwich fillings. Interacting with her roommate like this brings a comfort to her that she can’t quite describe. But, of course, Chaewon can’t stay and Hyejoo doesn’t want to keep her from something so important so she watches her leave with a pout.

 

With Chaewon gone, the room is darker and just a tad bit colder. Images from her dream start to creep on her again but she’s decided that she isn’t going to mope today (because she’s already moped enough during the week). She finishes her sandwiches and showers quickly so she can head over to Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s room for some company.

 

When she knocks, the door is opened for her by Jiwoo and she is met with the smell of food as she walks in their room.

 

“Hyejooooooooo!” Jiwoo throws her arms around her in that usual soft and warm greeting. Hyejoo hugs her back and gives her an easy smile, thinking she definitely made the right decision to come.

 

“You’re just in time!” The older girl exclaims.

 

“In time for what?” She asks, curiously.

 

Jiwoo grins at her before walking to the mini kitchen. She leans over Sooyoung (who’s clad in an apron with apple prints and stands by their stove with a spatula in her hand) and whispers something in her ear. Sooyoung laughs and reaches up to the cupboard overhead to pull out a box of disposable gloves.

 

Jiwoo pokes her on the side as revenge for the teasing but presses a kiss to her cheek anyway (which Hyejoo rolls her eyes at).

 

Finally, she turns to Hyejoo. “In time for rice balls!” Jiwoo says with the same bright smile.

 

“Did I miss something? Are you going on a picnic or what?” She asks, noticing the overflowing amount of food on their tiny dining table.

 

“ _We_ are surprising Chaewon to their rehearsals with lunch boxes!” Jiwoo twirls and holds out her arms at either side to express _ta-da_ . “It’s her first major production and _we_ will show her _our_ support.” She explains with a determination like she’s talking to a child (the child being Hyejoo).

 

Hyejoo raises an eyebrow over the emphases. _We?_ She doesn’t understand what this about yet so she walks closer to the older girl, looks through everything they’ve already prepared so far - fruits, veggies, egg rolls, and octopus-shaped sausages.

 

“We’re making more than enough for six.” Sooyoung says. “For Chaewon, Jiwoo, you, me, Jinsol, and Jinsol’s daughter, Yerim.”

 

“Jinsol unnie is gonna be there?” She asks, tries to hide her excitement at the thought. Honestly, she wasn’t sure about coming but now that the hero of her adolescent years has been mentioned, she’s definitely going to be there.

 

Jung Jinsol is Sooyoung’s best friend since high school and Hyejoo has idolized her since the day she first saw her in one of her cousin’s dance recitals. The girl is just the personification of cool! She’s mad talented and super pretty. Hyejoo had wanted to be like her when she was much younger, not so much now because she knows Jinsol’s coolness was probably something she was born with and therefore, impossible to acquire by any other means.

 

Sooyoung starts speaking again and Hyejoo snaps out of her train of thought. “It’s a musical, apparently, and they’re helping with the dance. Now, go help Jiwoo make the rice balls.”

 

Hyejoo feels enthusiasm take over her as she puts on gloves. Her eyes land on some sliced tangerines to the side of the table and she’s sidetracked a little. She reaches for one but her hand is swatted away with the spatula Sooyoung is holding.

 

“Those are for Chaewon.” She warns her with narrowed eyes.

 

“Playing favorites, I see.” Hyejoo replies spitefully, rubs the back of her hand.

 

Jiwoo shakes her head at them both, picks up a tangerine slice and feeds it to Hyejoo.

 

“Tangerines are Chaewon’s favorite fruit but it’s okay. Hyejoo can have some too.” She says, gives Sooyoung a pointed look.

 

Hyejoo sticks her tongue out at her cousin in victory.

 

“Just go make rice balls before I kick you out.” She hisses at her.

 

“Not with Jiwoo unnie around, you won’t.” Hyejoo says in a sing song voice but she gets to work just in case that threat wasn’t empty.

 

**& &**

 

Rehearsals are fun and tough, Chaewon concludes. It’s fun to watch Yerim and Yeojin bicker but it’s tough having to be the stage manager’s assistant. There’s just so much to do and so much to worry about. She can’t help but think that Heejin is lucky to be the understudy and to be a part of the chorus. Sure, she has to practice and memorize lines and cues but it’s probably not as tiring. She only has to perform. Unlike Chaewon who has to run all over the place and take note of so many details - lights, sounds, costumes, makeup, props, actors, and just... everything.

 

It’s nearing 1PM and she hasn’t had the time to eat the food she packed yet (Yeojin and Yerim already finished theirs hours ago). She’s feeling a little dizzy with hunger when she hears the _psssst_ sounds coming from the far side of the auditorium, near the doors. Thinking that it’s nothing, she goes on with checking the list of materials the art department had submitted and so she was totally not prepared to see Jiwoo, Sooyoung, and Hyejoo (especially, Hyejoo) pop out from behind the seats.

 

“Surprise!” Jiwoo exclaims, lifts her hands to reveal what she’s carrying - a bunch of food containers. “We made lunch for us!”

 

“You haven’t eaten yet, right?” Sooyoung asks, smiling hopefully at her. Hyejoo just nods behind the two.

 

Chaewon's eyes dart among the three of them in confusion. Are they really in front of her or is she hallucinating? She’s too caught up in wondering that she doesn’t notice Jinsol approaching with Yerim in tow.

 

“Hey, you guys!” Jinsol greets brightly and Yerim jumps up and down next to her, chanting _food, food, food._

 

Chaewon finally decides that this is indeed real. She takes the time to just watch them interact for a bit - Jinsol introducing Jiwoo and Hyejoo to Yerim, Yerim already visibly taking a liking to Jiwoo, and Hyejoo smiling widely at Jinsol. It’s disarming because that’s the first time Chaewon’s seen her show that much teeth (and it’s so cute too) but Jinsol is Sooyoung’s BFF so, of course, Hyejoo would know her. What’s even more interesting though, is seeing that smile disappear so quickly when Heejin materializes to her other side.

 

“Ah, Heejin!” Jiwoo exclaims, turning her attention to the newcomer. “I almost forgot that you’re in theatre arts too.”

 

Heejin is all smiles as she nods. “That’s right. Hello, Jiwoo unnie and Sooyoung unnie! Long time no see!”

 

Sooyoung’s smile at Heejin is a bit awkward and Chaewon doesn’t miss her trading looks with Hyejoo who subtly shakes her head in reply.

 

_Huh?_

 

“What are you guys doing here?” Heejin asks, not sensing the uncomfortable atmosphere she had brought. And to be honest, it seems like Chaewon is the only one who notices.

 

“Oh, we brought lunch for these kids. We kinda made a lot so… why not join us?” Jiwoo says, oblivious to the whole thing too. “You can be excused for a bit, right?”

 

“Aww, I’d love to! And yes, I think so. Gimme a sec and I’ll ask the prof for permission.” She says, all smiles as she runs off.

 

Heejin does get the professor’s permission (and easily so, because she’s powerful like that) and they all head to the courtyard to feast on the food Jiwoo, Sooyoung, and Hyejoo brought. Chaewon didn’t want to leave Yeojin behind, and she was already looking at her from across the room with puppy eyes, so she took her with them and now they’re all cramped in one picnic table. Sooyoung, Jiwoo, Jinsol, and Yerim on one side and Heejin, Hyejoo, her, and Yeojin on the other.  

 

“It’s been a while, Heejin.” Sooyoung strikes up conversation with the younger girl, carefully picks her words. “How’s... Hyunjin?”

 

“Oh, Hyun’s good. She has track training all day today but she’s fine.” Heejin smiles. “I actually told her about you unnies coming over and bringing lunch. I asked her to come but she can’t. We’ve been texting each other updates, you see.” She looks knowingly at Sooyoung and Jiwoo like it’s something they would understand.

 

And they probably do but that’s not Chaewon’s concern right now because Hyejoo has still not said a word since they left the auditorium. She tries not to look at the younger girl but she keeps on chewing her food intensely, like the eggrolls and the flower-cut carrots won over her on a rank game by cheating or something. And Chaewon’s no genius but she can tell that something’s up with Hyejoo and her friendship with Heejin and Hyunjin, something that makes it complicated. She’s also willing to bet that Sooyoung knows what it is.

 

It’s not like it’s her business but she hopes Hyejoo’s alright. She isn’t gonna lie and say that she hasn’t noticed her looking rather down the past few days. The number of times she has caught her looking longingly out the window and sighing too often is a clear indication. She just couldn’t do anything about it because Hyejoo hasn’t said anything to her. And why would she when they aren’t close enough to be telling each other things like that yet?

 

“I didn’t know you guys know each other.” Heejin speaks again, gestures vaguely to everyone on the table.

 

“Ah, yes. Chaewon is Jiwoo’s best friend. They used to be roommates too.” Sooyoung explains, shoots Chaewon a look before continuing. “Jinsol and I go way back since high school. And me and Yerim have met before because she and Jinsol are in the same dance club.”

 

Jinsol nods enthusiastically on her side to which Heejin smiles at.

 

“Small world, huh?” Heejin mumbles. She turns to Hyejoo, perhaps finally noticing how quiet she is, and gently places a hand on her arm.

 

Chaewon sees the shadow of something bright flash briefly in her eyes, only to be replaced with hopelessness, and finally emptiness all in the span of five seconds.

 

“You finished all of your sausages already? Want some of mine?” Heejin asks.

 

Chaewon doesn’t know what pushes her to do it or why she acts so quickly but she moves before Hyejoo could even answer. She picks up her chopsticks and transfers the sausages she had to the younger girl’s lunch box. Her action startles Heejin and everyone as well. Jiwoo blinks for a moment, looking like she got punched before she catches herself and moves her sausages to Chaewon’s lunch box. Which ultimately results in Sooyoung giving hers to Jiwoo.

 

Jinsol, Yerim, and Yeojin look at them in confusion. They must’ve looked like clowns because Yerim suddenly asks.

 

“Are we playing a game?” The younger girl’s smile is wide as she leans closer to the table.

 

Yeojin shrugs at her and, without warning, reaches into her lunchbox to take instead of give. Yerim starts screaming bloody murder at her. Jinsol sighs and gives her sausages to Yerim which pacifies the girl.

 

Chaewon, on the other hand, starts to want death. She can feel Heejin’s curious eyes on her and she questions her own choices. Of course, it’s weird that she would suddenly do something like that. She and Hyejoo just smoothed things out between them and they aren’t even close to be sharing food like that (giving her sandwiches was a totally different thing!). Heejin probably knows that. And now, Chaewon’s thinking that Hyejoo might be freaked out by the whole thing too because she hasn’t stopped staring at those octopus-cut sausages.

 

_Jesus._

 

Chaewon’s mind is going haywire so when Hyejoo moves, she flinches by instinct. Maybe she was expecting Hyejoo to return the sausages with an _I don’t want them_ or something similar but instead the younger girl reaches across the table and grabs a closed container.

 

Time slows down when she catches Chaewon’s eye and opens the container to reveal what’s inside.

 

_Tangerines. Sliced tangerines._

 

Hyejoo offers the contents to her and she feels her heart melt.

 

“The unnies said you liked tangerines so… I’ll make sure you get to eat a lot of it.” Hyejoo smiles at her then throws cautious looks at the others, taking longer with Yeojin than with the others.

 

For the second time in the day, Chaewon cannot and does not fight back the smile that makes its way to her lips. She looks at Hyejoo and she no longer sees her looking like she doesn’t want to be there, like it was a mistake for her to come. _Mission accomplished._

 

“Ah, thanks. You don’t have to but thanks.” She says.

 

“I should be the one saying that though?” Hyejoo drops her voice to a whisper. “And… thanks, Chaewon.”

 

Chaewon gets brave once more (something she realizes she does a lot lately around her roommate) and somehow finds Hyejoo’s hand under the table to give it a squeeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress for this one was real slooooow. I was busy and I'm also going through things. But I've started on the chuuves backstory so that's good news. And yeah, I'd love to hear some feedback so please do hit the comments section. Oh, and I have a cc if anyone has questions or if anyone wants to say hi. It's curiouscat.me/matchasn0w .This is linked to my alt twt account which is basically empty because I'm always on my main. That's that. Anyhows, thank you all for reading!


	4. Nerd With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings to all my beautiful readers! The sun is shining and we gonna get OT12 debut single in a week. I am happy and here is an update for y'all. Enjoy.

The ice cream melts off the cone and into her hand, dripping cold and sticky chocolate right down to the asphalt but Hyejoo couldn’t care less. She rests her cheek on her other hand and keeps her eyes strained on the crack in the concrete where a patch of dandelions has grown.

 

“Your ice cream’s melting.” Sooyoung points out.

 

Hyejoo lifts her gaze to her for a second but she drops it right back to the ground again, not in the mood to be sarcastic and call her out on that obvious observation. Sooyoung sighs and she hears it.

 

“Jin, will you help me a little?” She half-whispers, half-says, to Jinsol who’s on Hyejoo’s other side.

 

Jinsol stops mid-lick on her bubblegum cone. “...what do you want me to do?” She asks.

 

“I don’t know! Say something! Anything!”  

 

“Umm…” Jinsol thinks. “Are you not going to eat that?”

 

Sooyoung hits her own forehead as Hyejoo holds out her cone to Jinsol.

 

“You can have it, Jinsol unnie.” She says, not even looking up causing Jinsol to be serious.

  
She clears her throat, takes the melted ice cream and scoots closer to where Hyejoo sits on the curb.

 

“But really, baby wolf, what’s wrong?” Hyejoo slowly looks up at her and frowns.

 

“I thought you’d be excited about this. We didn’t really had the time to hang since last semester, you know?” Jinsol continues, worried look evident on her face.

 

Hyejoo purses her lips while the scrunch on her forehead deepens. “It’s not you guys… I mean, I’m glad you asked me to hang out…”

 

“But?” Jinsol passes the ruined ice cream (a sign that she’s truly paying attention now) to Sooyoung who tosses it in the trash.

 

“I’m just not feeling it today, I guess?” Hyejoo says with a shrug.

 

Sooyoung stays quiet. They all do until Jinsol speaks again.

 

“Hey, remember the first few times we did this? Those were before Sooyoung and Jiwoo were a thing!” She exclaims.

 

Hyejoo sits up a little, perks up at the fond memories. “Yeah! Now that you mention it, I do! We were even teasing her for having a first real crush!”

 

“Yeah. And look at where they are now. They’re an old married couple. Ugh.” Jinsol makes a disgusted face that earns her a hit on the back of the head from Sooyoung.

 

Hyejoo finallys laughs.

 

“There we go.” Jinsol beams, satisfied. “Loosen up, bub. We’re here for you.” She winks at Hyejoo.

 

Hyejoo smiles. “Yeah, thanks, unnie.”

 

“You wanna tell us about it though?” She does that thing with her eyebrows and for the first time after seeing it, it doesn’t make Hyejoo laugh.

 

“Sooyoung unnie already knows…” She mutters.

 

Jinsol looks at Sooyoung and gives her a pointed look and she understands. “Ah. Someone broke your heart, kid?”

 

“Something like that.” Hyejoo admits.

 

“Then why are we out here getting ice cream? I’ve got some booze stocked up in my apartment-”

 

“Jinsol, it’s a school night! Sit your ass down and finish your ice cream!”

 

“-that we will totally not touch tonight so I’m gonna sit down and finish my ice cream right now.” She plops down next to her again and Hyejoo can’t help but to smile again at her antics.

 

“You’ve really gotten soft, Hasoo.” Jinsol comments, dusts off crumbs from her hands as she finishes eating. “What has Jiwoo done to you?”

 

“Shut up. It’s not like you haven’t changed since-”

 

Hyejoo doesn’t hear the end of the sentence because Jinsol slaps a hand over Sooyoung’s mouth to stop her.

 

“Uh, did I miss something?” She asks, curious over the innocent look that Jinsol gives her.

 

“Nope. Nothing.” Jinsol says as she pulls her hand away from Sooyoung’s face, wipes it on her jeans. “She’s just being a weirdo, you know?”

 

Hyejoo sees Sooyoung glare at Jinsol as she rubs her mouth gingerly with the back of her hand. She’s getting really curious and she wants to ask why they’re acting weird but Jinsol talks again.

 

“Anyway, it’s not easy getting over someone, I guess… I don’t really know… but, yeah, this will pass too! And like what they always say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

 

Hyejoo frowns at that ridiculous statement because it’s not a fish she wants. She wants Heejin who’s dating her best friend, Hyunjin. And that’s complicated enough in her head so she doesn’t bother saying it aloud.

 

Sooyoung pats her back softly as Jinsol places a hand on top of her head.

 

“Jinsol knows a lot of people. I don’t always trust her taste, but she and I can help set you up on dates whenever you’re ready, kid.”

 

“Yeah, what she said. Whenever you’re ready. So cheer up, bub.”

 

**& &**

 

It’s impossible not to notice Hyejoo’s strange behavior around Heejin after that awkward as heck lunch. _Strange_ might be too strong to put it but Chaewon isn’t sure how else to describe it when Heejin’s in proximity and Hyejoo goes from being her confident and charming self to that emotionless robotic puppy. Her behavior near Heejin is just one thing. When Heejin isn’t around, she looks so sad and empty. Without that usual warm sparkle in her eye, she looks so much like the psychotic murderer roommate Yeojin keeps on trying to paint in Chaewon’s head (something that is also a result of that disastrous lunch). Anyway, it’s easy to tell that Hyejoo puts up a facade when Heejin is around. And with all these clues, Chaewon already has a pretty good idea of what the whole ordeal is. If her guess is right, then that’s another thing to add to her list of why Jeon Heejin is the luckiest girl ( _bitch_ ) on earth.

 

Chaewon doesn’t want it to seem like she’s sticking her nose in something that is not her business but it’s concerning to see her roommate that way. It doesn’t help that they all have a class together and the two of them (three, if she counts Hyunjin) sit on the row in front of her. It’s like she’s given a daily VIP seat to the world’s messiest feelings fest. To add to that, poor Hyejoo also hangs around their rehearsals to accompany Heejin because Hyunjin can’t since she has track practice.

 

Today is another one of those days that Hyejoo hovers in the auditorium. Chaewon finds it unusual because she isn’t playing with her phone or listening to music through her airpods this time and she looks even sadder like that.

 

“So, are you gonna talk to your murderer roommate or not?” Yeojin asks, appears so suddenly over Chaewon’s shoulder.

 

“Huh? What?” She turns to the younger girl and finds that Yerim is also there, standing behind her (most likely watching her watch Hyejoo, too).

 

Chaewon tries to put an innocent face on but Yerim just shakes her head at her like she’s a hopeless case.

 

“Don’t be like this, Chaewon unnie. We have eyes and _we know._ ” Yerim says, not buying her bullshit.

 

Chaewon turns to Yeojin who shrugs at her and says “I’m just here to remind you not to let your guard down around her. She could pull a knife out anytime and-”

 

Yerim cuts her off by pulling her to a headlock and rubbing her knuckles on the top of her head hard.

 

“Go now. Just go, unnie.” Yerim insists, nods vigorously over Yeojin’s loud ass screaming.

 

With the embarrassing things her friends are doing, Chaewon is left with no choice but to go. She swallows hard, takes small steps to where Hyejoo sits, close to where they had left their bags.

 

Hyejoo sees her approach and watches her curiously.

 

“Hey,” Chaewon greets. Her hands grab for her backpack quickly, trying to make up an excuse for approaching her.

 

“‘Sup?” Hyejoo mumbles and sits up on her chair.

 

“You look... bored.” Chaewon plays with the zipper of her backpack for something to do while her eyes look up at Hyejoo shyly.

 

“I am. My phone’s out of battery and I forgot to bring a powerbank too, so…” Hyejoo mimes cocking a gun to her head, makes the sound effects with her mouth.

 

Chaewon giggles. Yeojin hoots like an owl from across the room, perhaps trying to prove her point or whatever but it’s enough to have her come to her senses and pick things up.

 

“Ah. Really? I...I can lend you mine or something.” She offers, starts looking for her phone and some other things she can lend Hyejoo.

 

“Ah, no. It’s fine. I can just wait it out.” But Hyejoo politely declines, gives her a small smile.

 

Chaewon’s hand encloses around a book and she pulls it out, looks at Hyejoo hopefully. “If not, can I interest you in a sudoku puzzle book? There’s only a handful of pages left but-”

 

“Yes!” Hyejoo exclaims not even letting her finish. She leans forward, almost hangs over the row of seats separating the two of them in excitement.

 

There’s a beat of silence where they just stare at each other until Hyejoo clears her throat, composes herself. “I mean, it’d be nice if you can let me borrow that.”

 

“It’s all yours.” Chaewon giggles again, hands her the book.

 

“I didn’t know you liked puzzles.” Hyejoo comments as she leafs through the finished pages.

 

“Uhh, yeah. I do.” Chaewon replies. She feels shy under Hyejoo’s gaze so even though she wants to talk about her passion with puzzle solving all she gets to say is “I just look dumb but I do.”

 

Hyejoo’s reaction to her answer is immediate and bordering on violent.

 

“What? No! You don’t look dumb! Why would you even say that?” Chaewon hears Yeojin doing another round of bird calls and she flusters. Hyejoo sees her blush and she lowers her voice.

 

“I just haven’t seen you solving puzzles at the dorm is all.” Hyejoo finishes, frowns at her.

 

Chaewon blinks, dumbfounded because it really seemed like Hyejoo was about to fight her for calling herself dumb.

 

“Well, in that case, I’ll do more nerd stuff in the dorm.” She says, backpedals.

 

Hyejoo smiles at that. “Yes! Nerd with me.”

 

The corners of her lips stretch to show her teeth and her fluffy, fluffy cheeks go up as her eyes form crescents and does things to Chaewon’s heart.

 

“Alright. I’ll nerd with you from now on.” Chaewon says, despite feeling like she got sucker punched from seeing that smile up close.

 

She coughs to recover.

 

“Listen, I gotta go back now. I hope you enjoy and don’t get bored anymore.”

 

Hyejoo’s smile is still there and still directed at her.

 

“Thanks, Chae. I will. You’re a real lifesaver.” She says to her and Chaewon nearly trips over her own feet when she makes to leave.

 

_C-Chae?_

 

**& &**

 

For once, Hyunjin and Heejin have no training and rehearsals to worry about so they all decide to hit the library and get some studying done together. Which, Hyejoo now realizes, is not a good idea. She has her Airpods on with the music playing at 90% volume but she still can’t seem to drown out the flirty giggle-y noises that the two are making. She really should’ve just gone to the dorm and studied there instead of here with these two.

 

It’s almost been twenty minutes but she finds herself still reading the same paragraph on her textbook over and over. Deciding that she really isn’t going to get any studying done at this point, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and starts playing with it, hoping it would be a better distraction until Heejin or Hyunjin calls it quits (with the studying or the flirting, whichever). However, that doesn’t last very long when Heejin leans over the table and pulls one of her pods out.

 

Hyejoo looks up at her, confused.

 

“Don’t you have a quiz to study for?” She asks.

 

Hyejoo wants to retaliate, wants to point out that neither of them are studying but she catches Hyunjin’s eye and she doesn’t. She puts her phone down and sulkily picks up her book again.

 

“Aww, look at what you did. You made her upset.” Hyunjin says. “She was just taking a break too. Weren’t you, Hyejoo?”

 

Hyejoo grunts in reply but does not put her book down. It actually makes a good cover up. With it in the way, she barely even sees the two of them.

 

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Heejin grabs Hyejoo’s book from her and places it down on the table. “Let’s take a break.” She offers her a smile

 

Hyejoo purses her lips tightly as she feels helpless. Are they ever going to let her live? But it’s clear that they won’t because Hyunjin leans forward on the table with a purposeful look on her face.

 

“Hey, how’s Chaewon?” She asks her, turns to Heejin after. “She’s really cute, isn’t she, Heejin?”

 

“Oh, yes, she is! She seems nice too. I hadn’t noticed it before but she’s actually in a lot of my classes.” Heejin agrees, clasps her hands together as if they’re talking about how good the weather is.

 

Hyejoo just raises an eyebrow at that.

 

“Anyway, how is she? You never even told me she was your roommate before we ran into her that time.” Heejin continues.

 

“She’s alright, I guess.” Hyejoo answers, feels apprehensive at where this could go. “Why are you suddenly getting curious?”

 

“It’s just that… remember, during winter break, you told me you might like someone. But then I haven’t heard you talk about them after. And I’ve noticed that you’re looking a bit down lately so I just thought that something unfortunate happened?” Heejin says, gives her a sorry look which has her twisting in her seat.

 

As if that isn’t enough, Hyunjin looks at her with wide eyes and mouths _you liked someone?_

 

Hyejoo is cornered. They’re really about to have this fucked up conversation right now. She swallows, hopes against hope that her friends would sense how uncomfortable she is and  just drop the topic but they don’t.

 

“If you’re ready, why not go on dates or something? And if you think Chaewon is… you know, cute, why not ask her out?” Heejin continues.

 

Hyejoo stands up so fast she knocks her chair back to the bookshelf behind her. It makes a loud thump and people from the nearby tables stare at them but she can’t even pay them mind right now.

 

_This is unbelievable._

 

“You okay, Hyejoo?” Heejin asks. Now, she looks at her with that worried look?

 

It’s too much and she has to go.

 

“Yeah, I just... I-I have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.”

 

**& &**

 

Jiwoo is loud (or as loud as she can be in the library) and Chaewon is reminded of why she never gets to study anywhere with this girl around.

 

“Ah, this unnie talks too much!” She exclaims, slamming her hands down on the table they’re occupying. Jungeun who sits opposite of her gives her a sympathetic look but doesn’t offer her any real help.

 

“I’m loud?” Jiwoo asks, a hand on her chest and a feigned look of hurt on her face.

 

Chaewon buries her face in her hands and rubs her temples with her fingers as Jiwoo looks at her with those puppy eyes and pout.

 

“No, I guess not. I’m just on edge because of this project.” Chaewon says with a huff, pushes her notes back in annoyance.

 

“Awww, is there any way I can help?” Jiwoo asks.

 

“I doubt it. If you were one of my group mates, you could but you aren’t.” Chaewon says.

 

Jiwoo takes a peek at her notebook. “Isn’t this SOC 101? Aren’t you classmates with Hyejoo on this?”

 

“We are but we’re in different groups and they’re tackling a different topic.” Chaewon doesn’t add that she doesn’t want to ask her for help because things have just started to run smoothly between them (her occasional gay panics aside) and she doesn’t want to screw that up.

 

Jungeun finally speaks. “Are your group mates not helping?”

 

“It’s not that they’re not helping… Yeojin and Yerim are always game so that’s not a problem.” Chaewon mutters. “It’s just that we still haven’t been able to meet as a whole group because we’re all so busy with other things and the presentation’s due next week.”

 

“There’s still time, Chaewonie. You can do it. Just be assertive about it!” Jiwoo says with a smile.

 

“Yeah. And if they still don’t help you, tell me who they are and Jiwoo and I-”

 

“No offense, Jungeun unnie.” Chaewon cuts her off. “I know you look the part but Jiwoo unnie wouldn’t even hurt a fly.”

 

Jungeun scratches her chin and thinks for a bit. “You got a point so maybe I should take Sooyoung unnie instead?”

 

“No! No one is beating anyone up.” Chaewon says, exasperated. This talk is stressing her out even more.

 

“Who said anything about violence? We’ll just give ‘em a good scare.” Jungeun says, defensive while Jiwoo nods enthusiastically across from her.

 

“Please don’t. I’ll take Jiwoo unnie’s advice. I’ll be assertive about it.” Chaewon stands. “Anyway, I’m gonna go get something from the vending machine. You guys want anything?”

 

Jiwoo and Jungeun shake their heads at the same time.

 

“Don’t make violent plans while I’m gone. I mean it.” She narrows her eyes at them as she walks away from their table. Her two older friends only smile innocently. Especially, Jungeun.

 

Chaewon sighs. It was never her intention to rant because she knew things would turn out that way. She appreciates their concern very much but can’t they just let her handle her own problems? It annoys her how they always find a way to step in and baby her.

 

Anyway, this situation calls for some juice.

 

She gets to the vending machines in the lobby, near the corner leading to the restrooms. She pulls out some change she had in her pocket, scans the choices, and settles for pineapple. She whistles while inserting the coins in the slot and hears the sound of metal dropping against metal. She bends down and gets the juice but nearly screams when what she pulls out is plum instead of pineapple.

 

_What the fuck?_

 

Chaewon swears she pressed the button for pineapple. Her eyes dart from the can in her hand to the vending machine. She bites down on her lip as the anger rises in her. She hates plum and that was the last bit of money she had on her. She _is not_ going back to get money in her wallet and risk having to explain to Jiwoo and Jungeun what happened nor is she leaving this machine without the juice flavor she wants.

 

Her fist hits the panel of the vending machine once, twice, until it’s too many times to count. She looks over her shoulder, checks for anyone who might mistake her for a vandal. When she sees no one, she ups her game and kicks the menace machine.

 

But, of course, nothing happens.

 

She huffs and steps back, gets ready to give it a tackle with her shoulder. She counts _one, two, three_ and takes off with the intention to kill but a figure suddenly rounds the corner and she stops herself just in time, pretends to lean coolly against the machine as if she wasn’t planning to do it some serious damage.

 

“Oh! Hyejoo!” Chaewon exclaims, relieved that she really caught herself on time.

 

“Chaewon?” Hyejoo looks puzzled and she has to wonder if it’s so uncommon for her to meet people near vending machines. But she immediately realizes that it’s not that Hyejoo is puzzled about.

 

“What’s up?” She asks.

 

“Uh, tough study time.” Hyejoo replies. “You?”

 

Chaewon shows her the plum juice can in her hand. “I wanted pineapple but it gave me plum so…”

 

“Were you just trying to beat it into giving you the right juice?” Hyejoo asks and Chaewon wishes she didn’t blush deep red. “I was just joking but…”

 

Hyejoo laughs, almost hysterically but not in an offensive way. If anything, Chaewon feels a little bit better knowing she made her laugh even if it’s at her expense.

 

When Hyejoo calms down, she shakes her head and walks to the machine.

 

“You’re funny. Are you sure you pressed the right button?” She gets some coins from her pocket, slips it in, and selects pineapple juice. They wait for the _clang_ that signals that the juice has been ejected. Hyejoo bends to get it and shows it to her.

 

_It really is pineapple._

 

“I actually like plum so let’s switch?”

 

Chaewon takes the pineapple and gives her the plum.

 

“Thanks.” She mumbles, suddenly feeling shy.

 

The silence drags on while Hyejoo opens her drink and quietly takes sips from it.

 

“Are you studying with your friends?” She casually asks, remembering that look on her face.

 

“Yeah, I am but it’s not turning out productive so I was thinking of maybe just ditching them to go somewhere else.” Hyejoo shrugs and Chaewon nods in understanding.

 

_Heejin and Hyunjin. And Hyejoo._

 

“I get what you mean.” Chaewon says, wants to let her know that she sympathizes somehow (without implying that she knows too much, of course). “I’m trying to study with Jiwoo unnie and Jungeun unnie too but I can’t.”  


Hyejoo nods slowly and as if something hits her, she perks up.

 

“Do you wanna play hooky with me then?” She asks.

 

“Hooky?” Chaewon repeats.

 

“Yeah. Let’s nerd together now!” Hyejoo smiles. “I guess we can study later tonight too. Do you...?”

 

“No!” Chaewon immediately says, flinches at the wide eyed gaze Hyejoo gives her. “I mean, yes. I’ll play hooky with you.”

 

Hyejoo’s smile gets bigger and Chaewon just takes it in, remembers to breathe.

 

“Great! I’ll run upstairs and get my stuff. We’ll meet back here in five?”   


“Sure! I’ll go get my stuff too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did and will not hold back on the fluff. I just hope y'all don't get bored. Again, lemme hear y'all feedback!


	5. I'll Be Your Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! This is a rushed chapter and was barely edited so I apologize for any mistakes. Also, I might have made too many comic pop references. Oh, well.

Hyejoo doesn’t spare Heejin and Hyunjin an explanation. When she walks up to their table, she just sweeps in to grab her stuff and leaves. They call her name in low voices, ask her hushed questions but they don’t get up to stop her. So when they start calling her on the phone, she just turns it off. She knows she would have to face them tomorrow and explain her behavior but today… today, she has to be away from them. It’s going to be weird later and she’ll have to come up with an excuse but that’s alright. Right now, she needs this time to do whatever she wants. She needs this time to be away from them so she can figure things out.

 

It’s over, this much Hyejoo knows. She’s done pining and hoping and wishing that things turned out differently. Heejin and Hyunjin are happy together. It’s time Hyejoo stops feeling guilty over not being happy for them. It’s time for her to stop feeling sorry for herself. She doesn’t know why it took her so long to get here. Maybe her heart was somehow still holding onto the smallest of hopes all this time. But she knows now that it shouldn’t. Hyunjin got to Heejin first and if she’s going to be honest with herself, Heejin’s only had eyes for Hyunjin in a while now. It’s just tragic that it had to take Heejin telling her upfront to move on for her to realize that.

 

Chaewon meets her at the lobby with a soft smile on her face and Hyejoo empties her mind as she approaches her.

 

“So… where are we going?” Chaewon asks, hands nervously gripping the straps of her leather backpack.

 

“I kinda owe you for that sudoku book last time.” Hyejoo says.

 

“Oh, Hyejoo, you don’t have to repay me for that.”

 

“Nah. I want to. So how’s this? There’s this bookstore slash cafe just outside the campus. We can go there and maybe get some street food after?”

 

Chaewon’s eyes visibly light up with excitement. She claps her hands together and skips a little when she replies “Ooh! That sounds good! I love tteokbokki!”

 

Hyejoo smiles back at her. She loves tteokbokki too.

 

_if you think Chaewon is… you know, cute, why not ask her out?_

 

Heejin’s words ring in her ears annoying and anxiety-inducing like a school’s warning bell but all she can think of is _no_.

 

She did not ask Chaewon out. This is not a date. This is just hanging out because she wants them to be friends, just friends, since she really does enjoy her company. And honestly, she also thinks that only she would be able to comfort her during this time. Maybe it’s because Chaewon doesn’t really know about the thing with her, Heejin, and Hyunjin and her opinion would, therefore, be objective. Or maybe it’s because Chaewon just has that peculiar but effective way of cheering her up whenever she’s feeling down. Either way, Hyejoo doesn’t want to get caught up in thinking so with her lead, the two of them exit the library and start walking to get off the campus.

 

It’s still pretty early, just a few minutes after six, so the streets aren’t as crowded as it would be in like an hour or so. The orange and purple streaks in the city sky disappear bit by bit. As the darkness falls, the streetlights turn on one after the other.

 

With each step Hyejoo takes, she feels lighter and lighter. She takes a deep breath, holds it in, then lets it out. Through the corner of her eye, she sees Chaewon practically skipping to her side. She finally notices that she’s trying her hardest to keep up with her long strides.

 

She had almost forgotten that Chaewon’s both pretty tiny and slow. It isn’t exactly her intention to hurry so they could get to the cafe ASAP but seeing Chaewon like this puts a smile to her face. She looks really happy and excited. She wants to tease her and maybe tell her that there’s no need for them to hurry but she gets one look at Chaewon and sees her smiling that shy, soft smile and she forgets what she’s supposed to say.

 

“Are we going this way?” Chaewon suddenly asks, lips pulled into the biggest smile that Hyejoo has to blink.

 

“Uh, no. We’re going _this_ way.” She points to the opposite direction, briefly wonders if they’re even going the right way but decides that they are.

 

Chaewon nods once at her and turns to the left, where she had pointed. Hyejoo takes a moment to just watch  her before she shakes her head and speedwalks to catch up.

 

_Ummm… what was that?_

 

**& &**

 

Chaewon finds the bookstore slash cafe _awesome_. The place is well-lit with cute booths strategically arranged to match the vintage decor. The shelves are stacked full with books that are for sale and some that are for free browsing. There’s even a retro pinball machine on one corner. Simply put, it’s nerd heaven. Despite being dragged to a lot of other cafes by Sooyoung and Jiwoo, she has never step foot in here before, which makes this not-date with Hyejoo even more exciting.

 

They claim a booth for themselves and order immediately since they’re both hyped to read. Frankly, Chaewon was already eyeing some comic books the moment they sat down. Once their waiter leaves, they race towards the shelves, not caring if no one stays to watch their bags.

 

“So… puzzle books?” Hyejoo asks, voice soft but high with excitement.

 

“Actually, can we check out those comics first, puzzles later?” Chaewon repeatedly pokes Hyejoo on the arm. She does not realize what she’s doing until Hyejoo catches both of her hands and takes them in hers.  

 

“Sure!” She grins cheekily at her and leads her to the far end of the room. She drops her voice to a low whisper and lets go of her hands (Chaewon tries not to feel the loss but _oh god_ , when will she ever get to hold her hand like that again?)

 

“Don’t tell anyone but I hid all of the good comics here.” Hyejoo wiggles her eyebrows at her.

 

“Why would you do that?” Chaewon laughs and her heart feels a little too full.

 

If someone told her last night that she would get to spend time with Son Hyejoo, her crush, just the two of them like this, she wouldn’t have believed it. And yet here she is. Here they are. Maybe luck is on her side now.

 

_Like, Jeon Heejin who?_

 

Hyejoo laughs unapologetically and that keeps Chaewon to the ground, reminds her that they’re having a conversation. “Because some other patrons aren’t careful when they browse through it and the pages either get wet or get food stains.”

 

Chaewon mutters an _oh_ and watches as the younger girl reaches around the back part of the shelf to pull out half a dozen volumes of

 

“Spidey!” She exclaims, hands cupping both cheeks in such pleasant surprise.

 

Hyejoo beams proudly. “Wanna go look at these together while we wait for our food?”

 

They run back to their booth, knees and elbows bumping as they squeeze in together. Hyejoo looks at her once and starts flipping through the first volume. Chaewon tries to actually read with her because she likes this hero best among all of MCU (she’s yet to stop crying over what they did to him in the last Avengers movie and she just _can’t handle character death in general_ ) but with each page they go through, it gets harder and harder for her to focus on Peter Park. What with a whole Son Hyejoo in extreme proximity.

 

She doesn’t want to be creepy but Hyejoo’s sitting so close that she could smell her perfume ( _she smells like watermelon!)_ and could count the number of lashes on her eyes (so maybe Chaewon wants to feel how lush those are with her fingers, and what about it?) _._

 

Chaewon reminds herself to breathe and to try to calm down. This feels too much like a dream and she’s about a glossy comic book page away from another one of her gay panic attacks but she can’t lose her cool. She has to stay in control this time. The Lord knows how much she has embarrassed herself in front of Hyejoo already and she swears that she will not let that happen today.

 

She hadn’t realized that Hyejoo was nudging her on the side, probably to ask if she could proceed to the next page so she nearly (only nearly, Chaewon swears) shoots off the booth when the younger girl puts her face very close to hers in order to catch her eye.

 

“Umm, are you okay?” Hyejoo asks, eyes wide with worry.

 

“Yes!” Chaewon quickly says, prays very hard that she isn’t blushing right now. But what Hyejoo says next just kills her.

 

“You aren’t about to get a nosebleed, are you?”

 

_Goddamit._

 

“Ahahahaha!” Chaewon feels her soul ascending to gay heaven as her mouth laughs it off. Lucky for her, Hyejoo joins in the laughter.

 

The waiter finally comes by with their food and she considers it a close call. Hyejoo catches her eye once more and throws her one last playful smile before they put the comics aside and start to eat.

 

**& &**

 

Dorm curfew isn’t until ten and it’s barely even eight when they decide that it’s time to leave the cafe. Hyejoo isn’t ready to go back and Chaewon looked like she’s down for a couple more hours of playing so they agree to rain check the street food (since they're both full) and hit the nearby arcade instead.

 

The moment they walk in, Chaewon eyes glaze over as she gazes longingly at the small KTV rooms with the coin karaoke machines. Hyejoo smiles, reaches over to pat her on the head so she can get her attention.

 

“Shall we sing our sorrows away?” She asks when Chaewon looks up at her.

 

Her eyes grow big like the full moon in the night sky. Her pupils even shake a little. It’s too cute and Hyejoo has to laugh. Her laughter gets drowned by the _pings_ , _booms_ , _bams,_ and _K.O. Player 1 Wins_ from the many game machines surrounding them. She grabs Chaewon by the wrist and drags her to an empty KTV room.

 

Hyejoo leaves her to get coins for them but when she gets back, Chaewon’s already dancing to whatever random pop song the machine was playing. At closer listen, Hyejoo recognizes the 8bit melody. It’s the song that Chaewon plays on repeat every now and then. The one about bananas and monkeys.

 

“You really do like this song, huh?” She comments.

 

“Yes. Oh My Girl are legends.” Chaewon says, unabashed.

 

“I’m sorry, who?”

 

Chaewon gasps, covers her mouth with her hands and glares at her.

 

“Umm…” Hyejoo’s eyes dart from Chaewon to the wall. Is she about to witness her roommate getting mad for the first time?

 

“They’re only _the best_ girl group in all of South Korea.” Chaewon replies, places her hands on her hips and frowns somewhat fiercely. She even side-eyes her and Hyejoo tries her hardest not to laugh.

 

“Okaaaay. If you say so.” She figures she could humor her some more.

 

“Is that judgment I hear in your tone?” Chaewon’s voice gets a tad bit higher. Her bleached eyebrows threaten to shoot off her face and disappear in her equally light colored hair.

 

“Judgment? No! I just… you’re…” Hyejoo can’t say it but she thinks Chaewon’s being really cute right now.

 

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!” She holds up a finger at her as if she’s about to teach her a very important lesson.

 

She then takes the coins from her, slips a couple in the slot, and punches in a number on the keypad.

 

The song plays from the start. Chaewon takes a microphone and hands one to Hyejoo.

 

“This song is very easy to follow so you better sing along.” She says, winds her arms in a circular motion as if stretching.

 

“And if I don’t?” Hyejoo asks, amused.

 

Chaewon narrows her eyes at her. “Oh, we’re not leaving until you do.”

 

She raises an eyebrow at her and tilts her chin up in what Hyejoo thinks is supposed to be a threatening way but it’s just hilariously adorable.

 

“Now follow your master’s lead, young padawan.”

 

The lyrics flash on the screen of the karaoke machine and Chaewon jumps into the verse so naturally. She even does the dance moves with practiced ease, prancing and jumping around the very limited space. Hyejoo feels like she’s watching her in her own element and she’s caught in a trance. It’s not until after the first chorus when Chaewon realizes that she’s just standing there, watching her, and not singing.

 

She frowns at her again, teeth baring over her bottom lip, and foot stomping on the floor in a comical way to scare Hyejoo into singing.

 

It doesn’t scare her, by any means, but it’s still effective as she catches herself start to mumble the lyrics and awkwardly follow the dance. The proud look that Chaewon gives her right after is so satisfying that it doesn’t take long for her to actually put her heart into it.

 

Now, if someone from the outside were to look through the tiny windows of their KTV booth, they would probably seem like drunk, crazy college kids (Chaewon could pass for high school but whatever). For some reason, Hyejoo realizes that she doesn’t care.

 

When the 8bit hook intensifies after the second chorus, she just starts jumping up and down like a kitten on a whiff of catnip. Chaewon follows suit, long blonde hair whipping back and forth as if she were some barbie doll rockstar. When the last chorus comes around, they basically scream out the final bars along with their hearts, souls, and lungs. It’s crazy and it hits Hyejoo that she hasn’t had this much fun in a while.

 

By the time the song ends, they’re both out of breath and look like they’re out of themselves. But Chaewon’s smiling so brightly at her so Hyejoo doesn’t understand why her defenses start crashing down at that exact moment. The exhaustion she carried for weeks of pretending that she’s okay around her best friends, people who should know more than anyone how she’s feeling but don’t, finally hits her.

 

Hyejoo sits on the floor in a crumpled and miserable heap. She hugs her legs against her chest as she breaks into tears. Chaewon is quick to close the small distance between them. She kneels in front of her and fusses over her as she cries.

 

“Oh my god. Hyejoo, I’m sorry.” Her hands fumble in the air in front of her, unsure of where to touch her. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know you would be moved to tears by Banana Allergy Monkey.”

 

Hyejoo has to pause her crying to let out a laugh. “I’m… I’m not crying about that... silly.”

 

“Then what are you crying about?” Chaewon asks, frowns.

 

“I…” Hyejoo tries to steady her breathing as the tears continue to fall from her eyes in a relentless streak. “Heejin’s my friend… I can’t feel this way b-because she has Hyunjin now… and I have to let her go, Chae. B-but it hurts... so much. It hurts so much.”

 

Hyejoo doesn’t see it with the tears in the way but Chaewon’s gaze hardens and her jaw clenches. Still, she feels the comfort and warmth when she wraps her arms around her without asking any questions.

 

“Shhh. I know, Hyejoo. I know.” Chaewon whispers.

 

“Y-you know?” Hyejoo asks.

 

“You weren’t exactly being covert.” Chaewon offers her a small smile.

 

Hyejoo can only pout. Her tears have stopped now and she takes a moment to collect her thoughts.

 

“Yeah… but I’m done being caught up. I need to move on but I can’t... they’re my only friends and seeing them like that still hurts but I can’t help it. I don’t know what to do, Chaewon.”

 

Chaewon sighs but holds her tighter, keeps her voice barely above a whisper when she says “I don’t know if it’s worth anything but I’m here for you, Hyejoo.”

 

She looks up, blinks back the last of her tears so she can ask “Will you please be my friend then?”

 

Chaewon pulls back so Hyejoo’s able to hold her hand up, albeit, weakly.

 

The older girl takes her hand and pulls her to stand up.

 

“Of course, Hyejoo. I’ll be your friend.” She says with a smile that Hyejoo can’t help but mirror.

 

“Really?” She feels hopeful.

 

“Yes, I’ll be your friend so please don’t cry anymore.” She pouts at her then looks over her shoulder. “I’m afraid the people outside will think I’m mugging you or something.”

 

Hyejoo laughs again and she starts to realize that Chaewon is really something. “Please. They’ll think _I’m_ mugging you.”

 

She puffs her cheeks and rolls her eyes a little. “Glad to know you’re feeling better already.”

 

“Yeah. You’re good at that.” She admits.

 

Chaewon smiles then throws a weak punch at her shoulder. “So… are you ready for more Oh My Girl?”

 

Hyejoo chuckles.

 

“Yes! Keep ‘em coming.” She exclaims, raises her fist in the air.

 

**& &**

 

If they had stepped foot in the dorm building one second later, they would’ve been literally locked out. Chaewon knows that if they ever were locked outside, Sooyoung and Jiwoo would go through embarrassingly great lengths to sneak her and Hyejoo in so just imagine her relief when they skid to a stop just beyond the doors right before the guard rounds the corner.

 

A couple of other students weren’t as lucky as them and she and Hyejoo watch with half-amusement and half-pity as those students run to the back, probably to scale the walls and enter through the second floor windows.

 

Hyejoo is breathless from the running they just did but she manages to smile widely at Chaewon and even hold out her hand for a high five. Chaewon weakly receives it and believe her when she says she tries not to think about how soft Hyejoo’s hand feels.

 

It’s been a long day. They had gone to a cafe and an arcade but Chaewon can’t shake the feeling that she’s just been through an amusement park. This honestly feels like the worst rollercoaster ride of her life. She can just picture Yerim giving her that look of pity when she tells her that Hyejoo asked her to hang out and then friend-zoned her, all in one night.

 

“Are you seriously still planning to study?” Chaewon brings herself to ask Hyejoo as they head up the stairs to their floor.

 

“I am.” Hyejoo replies with a determined look on her face. That really makes her look cool and Chaewon wants to swoon but no.

 

“I guess I’ll stay up for a bit and study with you.” She mumbles.

 

“You don’t have to do that, Chaewon.” Hyejoo gives her a worried look. “I mean, you look pretty tired already.”

 

Chaewon shakes her head at her. “No, I’m fine. And besides, isn’t that what friends do?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

Hyejoo throws an arm around her and pulls her close as they walk down the hall. Chaewon looks up at her carefully. She sees how happy she is (only a few traces of that girl who broke down in that cramped KTV room remain), and she decides that this is alright too. For now. Because, Hyejoo’s clearly not ready for a romantic relationship. What she needs right now is friendship and Chaewon is going to give her that. Jeon Heejin can back off and stop making her cry so she, Park Chaewon, can waltz in and start making her smile again.

 

“I’m glad we’re friends, Chae.” Hyejoo says, affectionately rubs the top of her head as they near their room.

  
“Yeah, I’m glad we’re friends too.” Chaewon grins, tries to mean it so she ignores the weird aftertaste the word _friends_ leaves in her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem. Who knows the spiderchuu AU on twt? Mayhaps I am obsessed with it so now I am asking the author (again), very nicely, to please not kill Jiwoo, Hyejoo, or Chaewon or anyone in the story. I'm not saying my hand might slip and accidentally turn Be My Sun into Be My Friend but- okay, fun's over. I'm just kidding. And honestly, I think a huge part of y'all ship HeeHye more so really, the joke will be on me if I do that. *clown emoji*
> 
> Anyways, my heart is still trying to recover from favOriTe so be nice and lemme hear y'all thoughts :D 


	6. Be Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another number gets added to my age today so here's a treat of sorts for y'all, my sweet, sweet readers. :D

Hyejoo deduces that the effects of the last cup of coffee she had are finally wearing off as a yawn escapes her. She screws her eyes shut and muffles the said yawn behind her hand. Curious about the time, she reaches for her phone to check it and it reads 2AM. Since her first class starts at 7, she decides that it’s time to call it a night. She turns to Chaewon who was so insistent on staying up to study with her but finds the girl already in deep slumber. Well, probably not that deep as she’s sleeping with her head on the table and using her folded arms for pillows which isn’t comfortable at all. If Hyejoo doesn’t do something, she’ll wake up feeling all stiff in the morning.

 

She leans towards her roommate with the thought of waking her and telling her to move to the bed but she stops when she sees the look on her face - so soft and so peaceful as she slept. Chaewon must’ve been so tired from attending classes all day and from playing with her all night but she still chose to stay up with her. Yes, she fell asleep at some point but that doesn’t really matter to Hyejoo. She still feels grateful to her new friend.

 

Ever since she was young, she’s only had two friends - Heejin and Hyunjin. (Yes, there was Sooyoung too, but she’s her cousin and she doesn’t count.)  That being the case was never just a matter of her being shy and picky with whom she socialized with. It was more about finding the kind of people who could put up with her because even Hyejoo herself thinks that she can be a handful. She usually comes across as arrogant and judgmental. And more often than not, she would admit that she actually is. On top of that, she is hardly expressive about anything other than with her gaming.

 

And back in kindergarten, it took two whole months before Heejin and Hyunjin could hear her voice without her having to whisper things directly to their ears. The memory brings a warm but bittersweet smile to her lips. If those two weren’t so patient with her from the very beginning, she would probably be a loner until the day she dies. That’s why she can’t imagine how her life would be without them. Of course, she doesn’t rely on them as heavily now as she did back then, but they’re her constants. It’s always just been the three of them - Hyunjin, Heejin, and Hyejoo.

 

For what she’s about to do, she knows she could very well lose them. She can’t even think of how Hyunjin will react when she finds out that the two of them are in love with the same girl or how Heejin will respond when she tells her that she can’t hang out with them for the next three, four, maybe five, months because seeing them like that just hurts. She had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this point but it’s just not possible for her to pull away without saying anything to them. They deserve more than that. And if she’s going to be honest, she thinks she deserves more too.

 

The fear of losing her best friends has made her sit and suffer in silence for far too long already and she can’t allow it to keep her down anymore. If she’s going to lose them for a short time or for a long time, she doesn’t know yet. But as much as she knows that it’s going to be like hell, she knows that it’s going to be alright too. She’s going to be alright. She has herself. And, although, she’s clearly not perfect and she might never find people who will be patient with her like Heejin and Hyunjin were because of it, the time has come for her to stop fearing that she’ll be alone forever if she doesn’t have them. It’s time that she learns how to love herself.

 

And, well, she has Chaewon not too who reminds her of her existence with a soft snore. _That’s right._ She has Chaewon. Chaewon who has been nothing but helpful and caring even though Hyejoo was kind of an ass to her at the beginning.

 

Before she could even think about what she’s doing, her hand pats the girl’s head and gently caresses her blonde hair. Hyejoo pulls her hand back just as Chaewon stirs  awake.

 

“Whuzzgoingon?” She slurs and with hazy eyes, looks around their room in confusion. “Is it morning already?”

 

“No, there’s still time to sleep.” Hyejoo replies with a light chuckle. “But you know you gotta do it on your bed and not on the table, right?”

 

Chaewon nods slowly and gets up. She zombie walks to the other end of the room as Hyejoo watches her in amusement.

 

“Chaewon, that’s my bed.” She softly points out.

 

The girl simply does a double take, looking like a confused puppy, and she finally finds her bed. She falls on it facedown with soft plop. Hyejoo counts the seconds as waits for her to crawl under the covers but she doesn’t so she takes it upon herself to tuck her in. As gently as she can, she pulls the blankets from underneath Chaewon and throws it over her. She smooths it out and makes sure she’s snugly fitted in before she takes a step back.

 

Chaewon’s hand blindly reaches out for a plushie. Hyejoo feels her breath catch a little in her throat when she snuggles to it, pressing her cheek against it so she looks like she’s making a kissy face. She’d be lying to herself if she says she doesn’t find that cute.

 

Hyejoo coughs into her hand, catching herself.

 

“Right. Good night, Chae.” She softly calls even though she knows she’s already far off in dreamland.

 

**& &**

 

Chaewon was in a hurry to get ready for class so she doesn’t notice the cup of coffee and the bag of doughnuts waiting for her on her desk until she’s done showering and getting dressed. Attached to the medium-sized to-go cup is a black sticky note with a message written in it in white ink that reads _here’s something as thanks for staying up with me last night :D i didn’t know what KK flavor you liked so i got original glazed - Hye_ _:3._ Written just below that in tinier handwriting is a P.S. that says _i won’t attend socio today. please let me borrow your notes later, okay?_  

 

Her fingers shake a little as she plucks the note off the paper cup. Did something else happen while she was sleeping? Why was Hyejoo skipping Sociology class all of a sudden? She’s not the type to do something like that.

 

Her phone pings with a timely reminder and she remembers she’s supposed to be heading  to class. She slips the note in between the pages of her binder, grabs the doughnuts and the coffee, and runs out the door. The entire time she’s on the way, her mind buzzes with thoughts of Hyejoo. If she’s alright and where she could possibly be going to since she’s not going to class.

 

Chaewon barely beats the TA to the door but she quickly finds her seat next to Yeojin and Yerim (who recently claimed the freshly vacated seat on Yeojin’s other side). The class is past the halfway point to midterms now and a lot of students thought it was alright to not attend anymore. They’ll probably show up for midterms, attend for a couple weeks after that, and then disappear again. It’s a common pattern but Chaewon knows very well that _that_ isn’t the case for Hyejoo.

 

The Krispy Kreme bag is snatched from her by Yeojin as soon as her butt touches the seat.

 

“Ooh, somebody got up early to grab breakfast before class.” Yerim comments, reaches over to look at the contents of the bag too.

 

“I didn’t. Hyejoo got those for me.” She mutters off-handedly as she’s still distracted.

 

But Yeojin looks up at her with such apprehension that demands her attention. The younger girl’s cheeks are puffing out as she holds an already half-finished doughnut in her hand.

 

“Oh, just finish it, Yeojin. If this was actually Hyejoo’s attempt at killing Chaewon, just think of it as you saving her life.” Yerim says with a smile as she pulls out a doughnut for herself and wiggles her eyebrows at their youngest.

 

Chaewon glares at the two. She had hoped Yerim would be better than this but even she has joined Yeojin on her _your roommate is psychotic murderer_ quip.

 

“You ungrateful little shits.” She hisses. “Why am I even letting you touch the food Hyejoo gave me? Give it back now.”

 

She snatches the bag back and holds it against her chest possessively. She looks through it to find one last piece inside.

 

“Aww, she’s mushy for her.” Yeojin teases when she’s able to swallow.

 

With that weird glint in her eyes, Chaewon knows she has more to say but her eyes suddenly lock in the direction ahead of them and that’s when Chaewon notices that Hyunjin is watching them curiously.

 

“Whatcha looking at, cat?” Yeojin asks which surprises Chaewon.

 

“Oh, were you not aware that on top of being a lentil bean, you were also being a noisy little gremlin?” Hyunjin fires back with a straight face.

 

Yeojin bites her lip and rolls her sleeves back as if preparing to get in a fist fight but Yerim throws an arm over her shoulders and pins her back to her seat while she continues munching on what’s left of her doughnut.

 

With Yeojin held in place, Hyunjin turns to Chaewon. “Hey, Chaewon? Sorry to ask you this but do you know where Hyejoo is?” She inclines her head to point at the girl’s empty seat.

 

“Uh, no. I don’t. Sorry, Hyunjin.” She replies.

 

Hyunjin nods slowly and purses her lips. She shares a look with Heejin and they both turn back to the lecture.

 

Chaewon rounds on Yeojin.

 

“You and Hyunjin know each other?” She asks in a rapid whisper.

 

“Yeah. We're neighbors. She’s friends with my big sister but I don’t really know what Haseul unnie sees in her when she always fights me.” Yeojin seethes, shoves the rest of the doughnut in her mouth.

 

“Maybe that’s why your sister likes her.” Yerim supplies as if it’s the most logical explanation.

 

Yeojin rolls her eyes at her but doesn’t refute.

 

“Anyway, are you going to drink that or not?” She asks, points to the cup of coffee on her desk.

 

Chaewon narrows her eyes at the kid. “And I thought you didn’t want the food because it’s from Hyejoo?”

 

“Chaewon… unnie,” She adds the _unnie_ when Yerim elbows her on the side. “I’m not foaming in the mouth, am I? It’s pretty much safe so can you hand me that now? _Please_? I just want a sip.”

 

Chaewon’s out of strength and Yeojin did say please so she just passes the cup to her. She looks to the front and tries to pay attention to the lecture but the empty seat in front of her keeps making her worry.

 

**& &**

 

Hyejoo arrives outside the lecture hall ten minutes before the class is supposed to end. She hides behind a pillar in the adjoining courtyard and patiently waits for the students to come out. Having to skip the class was unfortunate but she needed just a bit more time to herself. And it would’ve both painful and awkward to have to sit next to Heejin and Hyunjin for the last time.

 

The double doors finally burst open and the students pour out. She spots Heejin bidding goodbye to Hyunjin with a kiss on the cheek before she runs off with Chaewon and Yeojin to their next class. Yerim goes to the opposite direction from the theater kids while Hyunjin lags by the doors, lazily scrolling through her phone.

 

_It’s now or never._

 

Hyejoo comes out of her hiding place and catches Hyunjin by the elbow just as she starts walking.

 

“Hyejoo?” Her friend looks at her with wide eyes. “We were looking for you! Were you just in class but didn’t sit with us?”

 

“No, no. I wasn’t. I…” She takes a deep breath. “You don’t have another class until after lunch, right? Can we… can we talk, Hyun?”

 

The look of surprise on her face is replaced by something serious but worried at the same time.

 

“Yeah, I’m free. And sure, let’s talk. But what is it about?”

 

Hyejoo inclines her head, gestures for her to follow her into the courtyard. Hyunjin does so quietly and patiently. It’s not until they’re settled in a stone bench underneath the old willow tree when she starts speaking again.

 

“Is this about yesterday?”

 

“Kinda.” Hyejoo admits.

 

It _is_ about yesterday. But also all the other days that came before that. Is Hyejoo really about to tell her that? Still, she figures that she has to start somewhere so she opens her mouth to explain.

 

But Hyunjin beats her to talking.

 

“Listen, Hyejoo. Heejin and I are sorry for coming onto you like that. It was insensitive of us and we should’ve been more careful but we really have been noticing you looking so down lately. We just wanted to help you some-”

 

“No, no. Hyunjin, you listen.” Hyejoo cuts her off, takes another deep breath as Hyunjin’s eyes, full of questions, bore into hers. “You have to understand that this is hard really for me and I don’t think I can say the whole thing just yet but… I’ll be hanging around Chaewon now instead of with you guys.”

 

She waits for Hyunjin to process what she just said, feels her nerves build with each passing second.

 

“Is this because of what Heejin said?” She asks.

 

“No, that’s not it.” She shakes her head quickly. “I’m not saying I’m going to ask Chaewon out. I’m saying I want to get to know her and be close friends with her.”

 

“That’s… that’s great, Hye! But I don’t see why we can’t all just hang out together.”

 

Hyejoo sighs. She’s really not going to get anywhere like this. She needs to be a bit braver than this.

 

“Remember what Heejin said about me liking someone but you never knew? Well, I never got to tell you about that person I liked because… because the whole thing happened when you weren’t around last semester and when you came back… I just couldn’t.”

 

When she finishes, Hyunjin looks at her guiltily.

 

“No, Hyunjin. It’s not about _that_. Heejin’s forgiven you for that. I have, too.” She assures her and pats her arm.

 

“So why couldn’t you tell me?” Hyunjin presses on, her eyebrows meeting to a deep frown.

 

“Because it’s too complicated.” Hyejoo says, looking away.

 

“Just how complicated is it that you couldn’t tell me, your best friend for almost fifteen years now?”

 

Hyejoo bites her lip and then fills her air with lungs. She opens her mouth but no words come out so she resorts to looking from Hyunjin’s eyes down to the matching ring she has with Heejin on her finger over and over. She does this until the realization flashes in Hyunjin’s eyes - shock, disbelief, and guilt all at once.

 

And this is exactly why she couldn’t say a word to them until now.

 

“But I’m happy for you two!” Hyejoo says quickly. “You guys are my bestest friends and you will always be. You deserve each other and nothing can change that. Not even this.”

 

But no matter what she says, Hyunjin looks so… helpless. Hyejoo takes her hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.

 

“I-I don’t know what to say, Hyejoo. I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t-”

 

“Oh, god, Hyunjin, don’t! Don’t apologize. That’s the last thing I want to hear from you right now.”

 

Hyunjin has always been the selfless one. The one who lets Hyejoo get the first turn at the slide when they were kids. And when they were older, the one who lets her pick which movie to watch or which kind of popcorn to get regardless of what she wanted. It’s not just with the little things. It took her sometime but she realized that Hyunjin pulling away from them had to do with that too. Hyunjin’s always letting her have her way so maybe it’s time Hyejoo lets her get what she wants.

 

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Hyun. Heejin’s been madly in love with you since the beginning... since forever, you know? I never stood a chance and I definitely don’t want to get in your way.” Hyejoo clears her throat as she feels the tears well up in her eyes over that truth.

 

Hyunjin still doesn’t say anything and just looks at her.

 

“There isn’t anything you can do about this anymore so just… just take good care of her, alright? Don’t you dare make her cry again.”

 

“Hyejoo…” Hyunjin throws her arms around her and pulls her in for a tight hug.

 

It’s ironic because, despite the suffocating bear hug, Hyejoo is able to breathe air in like she’s alone on top of hill. It’s amazing how she’s already feeling a lot freer just by saying those words out loud.

 

She finds herself patting Hyunjin on the back and she smiles.

 

“Well… that’s it for me. I’m out of brave juice.” She says weakly. “It’s gonna be up to you if you’re going to tell Heejin about my feelings or not. Just make her understand that my not being around for a while will be for the better.”

 

Hyunjin slowly pulls away and Hyejoo looks her in the eyes.

 

“I know she’s going to get hurt over this but you’ll be there for her. She’ll have you and she’ll be alright. You’ll both be alright.”

 

Hyunjin’s frown is so deep now it looked like she was about to cry any second and Hyejoo didn’t want that.

 

“Ugh, Hyun. Please don’t make that face.” She begs.

 

“But I’m worried about you.” Hyunjin reasons, sounds a lot like a child on the edge of a tantrum.

 

Hyejoo can only shake her head softly at her. “Don’t be. I’ll have Chaewon. And Sooyoung unnie and Jiwoo unnie. I’ll be fine.”

 

Hyunjin doesn’t look satisfied but she eventually nods. Maybe it’s because she can tell that Hyejoo’s already made up her mind and this is her finally conceding.

 

“Okay. You’ll tell us when you’re ready to hang out again, alright?” She asks.

 

“I will.” Hyejoo says firmly.

 

“And you won’t be a stranger?” Hyunjin does that near crying face again and Hyejoo chuckles.

 

“I won’t! We’ll still see each other in class. But... I’ll probably sit with Chaewon from now on.” She adds, shrugs.

 

“I see.” Hyunjin sniffles and clears her throat. “Don’t worry about Heejin. I won’t let her down. I won’t let you down.”

 

Now she’s looking a bit more like herself and Hyejoo beams.

 

“Good. I’ll see you around?”

 

Hyunjin nods.

 

Hyejoo gets up and starts to walk away. She stops when she’s a couple of meters from Hyunjin and turns to her best once more.

 

“Hey, Hyun?”

 

“Yeah?” Hyunjin asks, a hopeful look in her eyes.

 

“Thanks… for everything.” She says and finally goes.

 

**& &**

 

It’s dark when Chaewon gets back to the dorm and she still hasn't heard from Hyejoo since the note from this morning. She wonders where she could be (she wasn’t hovering at the auditorium during rehearsals like always) and if she skipped her other classes like she did with socio (they didn’t have other classes together so how would she know?). But Hyejoo wouldn’t do that, right? She remembers Hyunjin asking her of her whereabouts earlier and she realizes that she and Heejin have no idea where she is either. It’s really concerning her now. Maybe she should call Sooyoung once she gets in?

 

However, she stops that thought as soon as she reaches their room. A note similar from this morning is sticking to the door at her eye-level.

 

_Care to join me for dinner at the rooftop? - Hye :3_

 

Chaewon takes the note and slips it in the back pocket of her jeans. She grasps the straps of her backpack as she runs up the stairs leading to the rooftop. She knew students weren’t allowed there but she didn’t care. She had to check up on Hyejoo.

 

The door makes a creaking sound when she pushes it open. Stepping through, she finally sees her roommate, sitting with her legs crossed in front of a small coffee table. Laid out underneath her is a checkered picnic blanket.

 

Hyejoo turns to her upon hearing her enter. She waves enthusiastically as she approaches and Chaewon feels relief wash over her. _Hyejoo’s okay._ She’s looks more than okay, actually. When she settles in front of Hyejoo and sees her smile up close, she thinks _what was I even worried for_?

 

“Hey you.” Hyejoo says.

 

Chaewon smiles back, tears her eyes away from her to look at their surroundings.

 

“I never knew there was a place like this here!” She exclaims as her eyes sweep the old but fairly well-maintained assembly of bunk beds and other small furniture decorated with hanging strip lights, washi tape, and cute stickers.

 

“Not a lot of students do.” Hyejoo replies. “Sooyoung unnie brought me here during my first week and I’ve been coming here a lot since then. It’s a like my breathing room now.”

 

Chaewon looks at Hyejoo again and she wonders. “Are you… okay?”

 

Hyejoo smiles weakly but nods. “I know I will be.”

 

She looks down at the table in front of them and Chaewon notices the multiple take-out boxes  (spicy rice cakes, oden fish cakes, and fried dumplings) and the packs of yoghurt drink placed there.

 

“Shall we eat?” Hyejoo asks, inclines her head to one side.

 

But Chaewon is too amazed by everything that all she gets to say is “How…?”

 

“I may not know how to cook like Sooyoung unnie but I can order take-out. Now stop gaping at it and start eating it.” Hyejoo thrusts a pair of chopsticks into her hands and grins at her.

 

“But there’s so much food.” Chaewon mutters. “Is there an occasion?”

 

“No, not really? It’s just that we didn’t get to go for street food yesterday and I thought you’d still be tired from that... so instead of asking you to go off campus to get some, I just brought it to you.” Hyejoo explains.

 

Chaewon starts to feel like her heart is being overloaded. It flutters and flutters and flutters with each word that comes out of Hyejoo’s mouth.

 

“B-but the doughnuts from this morning and now this…” She continues, unable to take it all in.

 

If this is what she gets for simply being her friend, what would it be like being her girlfriend. She thinks she would die. But she shouldn’t be thinking about that.

 

“Why? I love to eat and love eating with people I like so…” Hyejoo grabs her attention again, shrugs and digs through the food.

 

It takes Chaewon a couple more seconds to recover and she eventually joins the younger girl in eating.

 

“Did you like the doughnuts?” Hyejoo asks.

 

“I did. And you got the flavor right too.” Chaewon replies with a mouthful of rice cakes. “But did you have to get me three though?”

 

Hyejoo chuckles.

 

“I remembered what you said about Yerim and Yeojin. I got them one each so they won’t have to steal yours.” She winks at her and Chaewon blushes.

 

“Oh! Is it too spicy? Wait.” Hyejoo grabs a yoghurt drink, pokes a straw in it and hands it to her. “Here. Drink this.”

 

“Thanks.” Chaewon accepts the drink and pretends she doesn’t choke on her food when their hands brush together.

 

After taking a generous sip, she puts the yoghurt bottle down and breathes in. She tries to calm herself but finds Hyejoo staring intently at her instead, which throws her in a more panicky state.

 

“What is it? What’s going on?” She asks in alarm.

 

“You got a little something there.”

 

Hyejoo picks up a paper napkin. Chaewon holds out her hand to receive it but then the younger girl scoots closer and proceeds to dab at the corner of her mouth with it.

 

Chaewon freezes like a stone statue. Her eyes are unable to look away from Hyejoo and the look of concentration on her face as she wipes off whatever food stain was on her face. Their eyes meet for a fraction of a second but it’s as if the world had stopped spinning. Their faces are so close and if one of them leans just a little bit more, their lips would touch-

 

They hear the giggly voices before the door even swung open. The two of them jump apart in time to see Jiwoo march past the door in usual Jiwoo fashion, hand in hand with Sooyoung.

 

“Oh? Chaewon? And Hyejoo?” She says, looking at them in pleasant surprise.

 

“Baby, what are you saying?” Sooyoung asks her, not seeing any of them yet.

 

Jiwoo points them out to her girlfriend and Sooyoung’s eyes go wide in shock.

 

“What the hell?” She exclaims.

 

Chaewon catches Hyejoo’s eye and finds her own dread reflected there. _Oh, boy. Here we go._

 

“You guys are having dinner by yourselves! You didn’t invite us?” Sooyoung asks, incredulous.

 

Hyejoo frowns at her cousin. “Uhh, I don’t see what’s wrong with that?”

 

“Wait.” Jiwoo pauses for dramatic effect and approaches them. She looks at the food on their table and how closely they are sitting and nearly shrieks. “Are you two on a date?”

 

“WHAT? NO! Of course not!” Chaewon quickly denies, shakes her hands in front of her as Sooyoung’s glare hits her.

 

“Park Chaewon, I swear to god, if you do something to my baby cousin-”

 

“Ugh! Unnie, please! We’re just eating together! Stop being so embarrassing.”

 

At the sound of Hyejoo’s exasperation, a mischievous look takes on Jiwoo’s face that Chaewon is very much familiar with.

 

“If you’re not on a date, then you wouldn’t mind us joining you, right?” She asks.

 

“Of course not. We have lots so, by all means, join us.” Hyejoo says, not only stepping up to the challenge but also willingly walking into the trap.

 

Chaewon closes her eyes in defeat as Sooyoung and Jiwoo pry her and Hyejoo apart by sitting in the space between them. She wants to give Hyejoo an apologetic look but she’s afraid that if she so much as looks in the girl’s direction, she would give her position away to Jiwoo and Sooyoung so she just sighs. It’s going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? I've had some major help from my bro @seulwans for this chapter. I was stuck with picking it up from where we left last chapter and he helped big time with that so everyone say thank you, Aaron. :) On other news, I do think that I've been feeling better over the past couple of days so thank y'all for your kind words. I know this update isn't as humorous as the other one but I was going for something a bit more serious given what Hyejoo needed to get done. Either way, let me know what you all think of it. And with that, I will see you all in  the next update! Thank you!


	7. Weird Is Cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAHHHHH. I made it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SUN, MISS PARK CHAEWON!!!!! #HappyGowonDay

The soles of her running shoes scrape hard against the pavement as she uses her her heels to brake and put her body to a stop. Hyejoo pants just a little, pulls her phone out of the pocket of her hoody to check her progress. The app widget flashes the distance she’s covered across the screen - 1.2KM. It elicits a frown from her and she looks over her shoulder, to Jiwoo, grinning brightly as she approaches with springy steps, and to Sooyoung, grimacing with each measly meter she covers.

 

“You look like you’re in pain, Sooyoung unnie.” Hyejoo comments when she’s close enough to hear. She then pointedly keeps her face straight and relishes in the scoff she gets from her cousin.

 

“And I swear, I heard your joints creak earlier while we were warming up.”

 

It takes Sooyoung a little less than a minute to finally catch up to her and when she does, she puts has to put her hands on her knees to keep herself up.

 

“Shut up... you brat.” She breathes, glares at her.

 

Hyejoo holds that glare with cheeky grin but Jiwoo pushes herself through the small space between them, cutting off their eye-contact and shooting them a frown and pout combo each.

 

“Hyejoo,” The girl starts. “You know she isn’t usually like this.”

 

Her hand comes up to rub her girlfriend’s back comfortingly. “She’s just having a bad morning. No need to be mean.”

 

With a soft look, Sooyoung turns to Jiwoo and Hyejoo rolls her eyes at the two of them. She had a couple more remarks about old age up her sleeve but she is obviously beaten and she lets it go.

 

“Are you guys still up to completing the 2.5K?” She asks instead, shows them the numbers on her phone before she shoves it back in her hoody pocket.

 

Sooyoung and Jiwoo trade looks and Hyejoo thinks she knows what they’re going to say before they even open their mouths.

 

“Go! ” Sooyoung waves her hand in front of her, beckoning for her to move forward. “We’ll be right behind you.

 

She looks to Jiwoo for confirmation. The girl beams and nods enthusiastically at her, so she resumes running without another word.

 

Suspicion tingles the hairs on the back of her neck, just below the base of her ponytail. Still, Hyejoo sprints a couple hundred of meters first before she checks. When she looks back at the two, she finds them walking at a rather leisurely pace while holding hands.

 

Hyejoo hates that she has to fight a frown at the sight of them being affectionate with each other. She knew she was getting herself into something like this but she still asked them to accompany her to her Sunday morning jog. Obviously, she regrets doing that now that she feels like she’s third-wheeling. It’s just too bad Chaewon couldn’t join them.

 

Not that she’s mad or anything. She knows Chaewon needs her rest. Rehearsals for that production of theirs went on for the whole day yesterday and clearly drained her. She had passed out on her bed as soon as she got back last night. Hyejoo also knows that the girl had to tackle a ton of other coursework during the week. The thought deepens her frown. Did Chaewon even had anything to eat before she crashed last night? Maybe she should hurry back to the dorm and check on her now.

 

Soon, the dorm buildings come into view and she rounds past the corner that marks her last lap. Hyejoo catches her breath while slowing down to a brisk walk. Thinking that she should wait for Sooyoung and Jiwoo, she paces back and forth on the steps for a couple of times. When she sees no sign of either of them, she concludes that they have gone on a full blown date without telling her and heads inside.

 

Her steps are bit stompy and her lips a tad pouty as she takes the stairs two at a time. She doesn’t want to be that bitter single friend, especially when she knows she can’t blame Sooyoung and Jiwoo for not being able to hold back on their affections for each other (they’re in love!), but seeing them like that somehow reminds her of people she shouldn’t be thinking of. People whom she’s undeniably missing already, even though it hasn’t been that long since she decided she needed to not be with them for a time.

 

Hyejoo pauses in front of her and Chaewon’s door when she reaches it. She feels the sadness creeping up on her but she brushes it off like it’s dirt on her shoulders. There are more pressing matters at hand and she wants to focus on those. The first being if Chaewon would be down to grab breakfast with her. Her favorite breakfast place opens in half an hour and she’s hoping that they could go there. Anyway, if Chaewon’s still too tired to leave, Hyejoo can just get takeout for them like she did before so it’s no biggie.

 

Satisfied with her plan, she bursts through the door with a smile on her face. But that smile disappears when she finds only silence welcoming her back. Chaewon’s bed is made up and the girl is nowhere to be found. Hyejoo glances at the clock on her desk. It’s barely even 8AM. Where could she have gone? Did she head out to get something? She didn’t have other plans for the day, did she?

 

The sunlight slipping through the half-drawn curtains gets in her eye when she crosses the room and she is stopped with a realization - she probably shouldn’t be thinking too much about this. She is, of course, worried about Chaewon. How can she not when the girl is tiny, looks way too fragile, and goes about everything like she’s always running low on energy? She thinks that’s enough reason but the thing is, the two of them still don’t know each other that well, even though they’ve been roommates for two months now.

 

Hyejoo squints. She doesn’t want to come across as clingy so she’s not sure if she’s allowed to be this much concerned over a new friend just yet. But she does know that it’s what she feels. She just doesn’t want Chaewon to overwork herself and get sick!

 

Still, all this thinking isn’t going to get here anywhere, so she grabs clothes and hops in the shower. When she finishes and sees that her roommate still isn’t back, she lies on her bed and decides she’ll wait for her a little bit longer before she considers changing her plans.

 

She didn’t even realize she had fallen asleep in the process, but hearing the sound of chair legs dragging across the floor, wakes her. She’s quick to turn around though, very much ready to ask Chaewon if she would like pancakes or waffles, except, it isn’t actually her whom she sees sitting on the kitchen table.

 

Hyejoo blinks, wondering if she’s imagining things because she might not be fully awake yet.

 

But she only gets an unwavering stare in return as the silence drags on.

 

“Uh, Yeojin?” She calls, tentatively.

 

“She speaks!” The younger girl exclaims.

 

“What are you doing here?” Hyejoo frowns as she sits up.

 

“I don’t know.” Yeojin answers, her face blank. “What do you think I’m doing here?”

 

“Where’s Chaewon?” Hyejoo asks.

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

 

Hyejoo looks back at her, confused.

 

“What do you mean? Didn’t she let you in?” She’s sure she locked the door behind her when she came in.

 

Yeojin shakes her head dramatically slow and leans over the table to look her in the eye.

 

“I know what you’re planning to do to her and I’m not afraid of you, Son Hyejoo.”

 

She says it so clearly and so confidently that Hyejoo has to wonder what’s really going on.

 

“Umm… what?”

 

“I see through you. I always have. I always will.” Yeojin continues.

 

Hyejoo looks around the room for a camera or some other telling sign that this is a prank. Again, she doesn’t know Chaewon that well (just yet) to know if she’s capable of pulling one on her, but she’s seen glimpses of her impishness that springs up now and then whenever Jiwoo and Sooyoung are near.

 

Yeojin demands her attention again by slamming her hands on the table.

 

“Hey, look at me while I’m talking to you, you psycho murderer.” She hisses.

 

This time, she even stands up to her full height to possibly look intimidating, so it proves to be quite anticlimactic when the door of the bathroom swings open and a smiling Yerim marches out, diffusing what very little effect Yeojin’s intimidation has on Hyejoo.

 

The bubbly girl takes one look at her and her friend before she quite literally skips over to them.

 

“Oh, You’re awake! Hi, Hyejoo!” Yerim’s brightness bursts out like fizz does from a newly opened soda can.

 

“Ah, you’re here too, Yerim?” Hyejoo greets back after a pause, feels an awkward smile creep over her lips.

 

Yerim bends a little to meet her eye and she leans back on her bed for some space. She swallows, coming to the conclusion that this a lot harder to deal with than Yeojin’s earlier outburst.

 

“Mhmm! We have a group report for socio to cram today!” Yerim explains, unaware of her struggle. “Chaewon unnie had volunteered your room as the meeting place. Hope you don’t mind us being here.”

 

Hyejoo straightens up at the mention of Chaewon.

 

“Ah, I see.” She clears her throat. ”Yeah, that’s… that’s cool.”

 

“How’s your group’s report coming?” Yerim asks with a grin.

 

“Pretty much done.” Hyejoo replies as she tries not to think about how they’ve gotten their work done by communicating mostly through kakaotalk.

 

“Aww, lucky you!” Yerim says, keeping her with her and Yeojin.

 

“Thanks, I guess.” Hyejoo blinks. She looks down at her hands and lets the urge to ask win. “Do you know where Chaewon is?”

 

“She’s gone out to get snacks and stuff. She said she’ll be back quick.” Yerim answers, pauses. “What were you two talking about earlier?”

 

When Yeojin catches her eye and smirks at her, Hyejoo thinks she’s finally figured out what this is all about. She smirks back at the younger girl who looks surprised at her boldness, which is good, because she’s never been one to back down from a challenge.

 

**& &**

 

The keys of her laptop’s keyboard clang relentlessly as paragraph after paragraph of half-written precis and half-BSed content get typed out. Or at least Chaewon’s does. Yerim’s just been staring at her own laptop screen for almost twenty minutes now and she doesn’t even wanna know what Yeojin is up to at the moment. The youngest is very likely playing minesweeper in discreet but whatever. Procrastination is a thing and, even though they have to finish their report as soon as they can, Chaewon isn’t about to whoop their asses for indulging in it. She trusts them and knows that they will get to the task eventually. She hopes. And besides, she does it too, in her own way.

 

It’s evident in the furtive glances she throws in Hyejoo’s direction. It’s not because her roommate looks so breathtakingly beautiful sitting up on her bed like that, back against the headrest, hair falling down over her pretty face as she bends over a book. Okay. At the very least, Chaewon knows it’s not just because of that. It’s also because Hyejoo hadn’t said a word to her all morning.

 

Chaewon swallows as she averts her gaze back to her laptop. Biting her lip, she thinks. Could Hyejoo be maybe mad at her for not telling her about their group meeting in advance? When she woke up this morning, she was already running late to the time she had set to meet with the gremlins and Hyejoo wasn’t around then. She also missed the chance to tell her about the whole thing much earlier, like last night.

 

The chair on her right skids back so suddenly that it makes her flinch. When she turns to the commotion, she sees that it’s only Yerim getting to her feet theatrically.

 

“I can’t do this!” The girl exclaims, hands clutching her head.

 

Three pairs of eyes look to her and then at each other.

 

“Chaewon unnie… I’m…” She wrings her hands together.

 

“You’re what?” Yeojin asks, eyebrows meeting in a worried look.

 

“I’msohungryandIcan’tstopthinkingaboutlunch.” Yerim’s shoulders sag as she finally admits.

 

Chaewon opens her mouth but no sound comes out of it. She looks at Yeojin and the younger girl wiggles her eyebrows at her, pats her own stomach to back up Yerim’s statement.

 

“But you finished off two bag of chips and a deluxe packet of cookies not too long ago!” She reasons.

 

“We’re growing kids!” Yeojin says while Yerim nods in agreement.

 

From her spot on the bed, Hyejoo makes a nasally sound, a snort, that she tries to play off as a cough to no avail. Yeojin sees through it and she bites on her lip, bares her teeth to retaliate.

 

And Chaewon, knowing what’s coming, switches to the offense and stomps on the brakes before Yeojin could even get one sentence out (the brake being Yeojin’s foot, of course).

 

“Is there something you wanna- OWWWW!!!” Yeojin screams.

 

The younger girl turns to her, eyes streaming with tears, and Chaewon only looks back innocently. She’s not exactly sure if they’re good but she isn’t going to let anyone drag Hyejoo. Not on her watch.

 

“You okay there, Yeojin?” Yerim asks, clueless.

 

“Y-yeah, I’m good. Just... a cramp.” Yeojin seethes, gingerly rubbing her socked feet and hiding the murderous intent she has for Chaewon from Yerim.

 

Yerim nods in acknowledgment and then goes right back to pushing her agenda. “Sooooooo, are we getting lunch or what?”

 

At the expectant look on the her face, Chaewon composes herself so she could think. They haven’t accomplished much yet and a quick glance at her watch tells her that it’s far from a normal person’s lunchtime. Even if they decide to eat some place off campus, by the time they get there it will still be considered an early lunch.

 

But Yerim’s eyes are practically begging and she can feel that Yeojin’s just about ready to jump in to add to that. She does feel a little bit bad for stomping on her foot so she concedes.

 

“Ugh, fine. But we have to get back to work right after, okay? I don’t want you two to have to stay the night just so we can finish this in time for tomorrow.”

 

The two scramble for the door and slip into their shoes before she could even finish.

 

“Hey! We don’t even know where we’re going for lunch yet!” She calls after them, frowns as they throw themselves out into the hallway.

 

Sighing, she turns to Hyejoo only to see her already smiling at her, as if she was waiting for her. The words get stuck in Chaewon’s throat when she speaks.

 

“D-do you maybe, umm, wanna tag along, Hye?”

 

Hyejoo nods, smile getting wider. She pushes herself off the bed and swipes her wallet off her desk in a swift motion like she could be excited.

 

“Yeah, let’s go.” She says.

 

Chaewon’s in a sort of daze as they make their way out to the streets. Her heart races in her chest as she falls in step with Hyejoo, walking side by side with her while Yeojin and Yerim lead the way to some hole-in-the wall place a little ways off campus that two of them know. It seems that she’s still a long way from getting used to seeing that smile.

 

To distract herself, Chaewon looks around the scenery they pass. She is reminded of how much she enjoys staying on campus during weekends. It’s easily a ghost town without the presence of students, running to classes or loitering in the grounds. The way the trees looked in late spring fills her with a calm she can’t explain and she figures there isn’t a better time to start conversation than now.

 

“I hope it’s not much of a bother...” She starts.

 

“Hmm, what is?” Hyejoo looks intently at her.  
  


Chaewon gestures vaguely in front of her, flustered at her gaze.

 

“I’m sorry. I meant to give you a heads up last night, but I fell asleep, and when I woke up this morning, you weren’t there.” She explains.

 

There’s a pause while Hyejoo makes sense of her words.

 

“Oh, you think having Yeojin and Yerim over bothers me?” She exclaims when it hits her.

 

“Does it not?” Chaewon asks, curious at the girl’s surprised tone.

 

Hyejoo shakes her head quickly. “They’re your friends and you’ve all got a project to work on. It’s cool, Chae.”

 

“So, you’re not mad at me?”

 

“Why would I be?” Hyejoo eyes never leave her.

 

And frankly, Chaewon can’t look away from her either, even more so when she smiles again. But there’s also something mischievous about it that has her raising an eyebrow.

 

“There is, however, an incident earlier.” She mumbles, looking down at her feet.

 

Chaewon swallows and prepares for the worst. “What is it? Did something happen?”

 

“I’m pretty sure I got called a psychotic murder by Yeojin earlier.” Hyejoo deadpans.

 

Shame and murderous rage flares up Chaewon’s back and she starts to think that it would be best if the ground just swallows her whole now.

 

“But don’t you go stomp on her other foot now.” Hyejoo quickly adds, chuckles. “It’s okay. It was kinda funny.”

 

“You saw that?” And her humiliation doubles.

 

Hyejoo nods and stares ahead.

 

“You’ve got weird friends, Chae.” She says. “But that’s fine because you’re kinda weird too.”

 

Great. Now, her crush thinks she’s a weirdo.

 

“But it’s not bad, Chae! Weird is cool.” Hyejoo grins at her. She holds her gaze for a bit before she clears her throat. “Which is why I hope they’re alright with me inviting myself to your friend group.”

 

Chaewon is both relieved and endeared that she’s able to laugh the last bits of her embarrassment away.

 

“Oh, believe me. They’ll be thrilled to have you.” She says, mirrors Hyejoo’s grin. “But... are you sure you want in? I mean, Yeojin did call you a psychotic murderer.”

 

“Yeah, of course! I think it’s cute that she was being protective of you.” Hyejoo thoughtfully points out and Chaewon frowns.

 

“Protective? Of me? Why?” Chaewon wonders.

 

“Well, yeah. I don’t exactly look like the softest person around.” That playful look on her eyes is back. “And we don’t know much about each other yet. Didn’t you ever think that Yeojin could be right?”

 

“Hyejoo, please.” Chaewon says with a roll of her eyes. “You cried over Banana Allergy Monkey. You can’t be bad.”

 

Hyejoo lets out a loud ringing laugh that has Chaewon blinking.

 

“Anyway, I think that just goes to say that you’ve got some really good friends.” Hyejoo runs, just a couple of steps ahead of her, and turns back to smile at her one more time. “We should probably pick up the pace if we don’t wanna lose them!”

 

Chaewon gives her a nod and when she’s turned away, she trails after her with a dumb smile on her face.

 

**& &**

 

The four of them head back to the dorm after a relatively quiet lunch. While the trio resumes hustling their group report, Hyejoo hovers in the background, mostly playing games on her 3DS, but also sometimes cheekily staring at Yeojin whenever she notices the younger girl gazing longingly at the console in her hands. She wants to catch Chaewon’s eye and joke with her about it, but her roommate’s too absorbed with her work and she doesn’t want to disturb her.

 

The afternoon is gone in a flash. When the sky darkens, their motivation dwindles, like the snack bags they opened and emptied.

 

Evidently, Yerim has been sliding down against her seat until she’s half-lying on it, legs lazily stretched out under the table. Yeojin, on the other hand, resembles a statue now, with how she has both of her feet up on the chair and how her eyes stare unblinking ahead of her. Both prove that Chaewon is the strongest as she’s still able to type away on her keyboard, less intense than before but still with that eagerness to finish.

 

“Chaewon unnie…” Yerim calls, almost lifeless. “Is it… time for dinner yet?”

 

Chaewon sighs but keeps her eyes glued to her work. “What do you guys want?”

 

Yeojin unfreezes and leans closer to her with a hopeful look on her eyes. “Can we have noodles? The stir-fried ones from the food truck by the south gate are the best.”

 

“I’m afraid we can’t afford to eat out again. Going to some place and then coming back here takes so much time.” Chaewon mutters.

 

“So delivery?” Yerim suggests.

 

“Uh, they don’t deliver.” Yeojin frowns.

 

“Then pick another place to get food from or change the menu.” Chaewon simply says.

 

“But I kinda want those noodles now…” Yeojin mumbles.

 

Hyejoo sees the slant in her brows and the pout in her lips and she speaks before she could stop herself.

 

“I could run there and get takeout for all of us... if you all would like that?”

 

Their reactions vary greatly. Chaewon looks up from her laptop with surprise. Yerim vibrates with excitement. And Yeojin looks very much like she wants to hug her out of gratitude.

 

“Hyejoo, you don’t have to.” Chaewon starts.

 

“But we’d be really grateful if you do, Hyejoo… unnie.” Yeojin says, looks away shyly.

 

“Yeah, sure. I mean, it’s the least I could do to help.” She offers them a smile. “You guys have been working so hard all day. Besides, I’m not doing anything.”

 

Chaewon looks like she has more to say so before any of them could protest or anything, Hyejoo rolls off her bed and exits the room.

 

She makes her way off campus in silence but with an enthusiastic bounce to her step. She takes a shortcut through the arts building and meets a swarm of students armed with cameras and sketchbooks. They walk ahead of her, seemingly following two tall guys pushing a cart with heavy equipment. An ah escapes her when it clicks in her head.. She had seen posters for the astronomers’ club’s stargazing event all week and that’s supposed to be today.

 

Hyejoo continues to observe the group in mild interest. She thinks that if Chaewon and the kids finish with the report soon, they could swing by and get a peek through that cool telescope. At that moment, two girls drift away from the cluster. One pulls at the other with an urgency that is both shy and thrilled. There are plenty of couples in the university and it isn’t unusual so Hyejoo doesn’t think much of it, until they stand directly under the streetlamp and she recognizes who they are.

 

With the beam of light falling on them, Hyejoo sees everything in perfect clarity - Hyunjin places a hand on Heejin’s nape and pulls her towards to meet her with a kiss.

 

But she doesn’t see their lips make contact because a hand shoots out of nowhere to block her view.

 

Hyejoo’s eyes drop to her feet and she immediately recognizes the pair of white converse sneakers next to hers, poised on the toes to allow her to pull off this valiant attempt.

 

“Uh, Chae?” She starts. Her voice shakes but she knows she has to say something. “I can still kind of see them there. Your hand is very small.”

 

It’s a lie but she doesn’t know what else to say.

 

Chaewon quickly pulls her hand back and proceeds to grab her by the shoulder, turning her away from the scene.

 

“Is that better?” She asks.

 

Hyejoo weak smile crosses her lips and she reaches out to squeeze her hand. She notices how the girl’s panting slightly.

 

“Did you run, Chaewon? Also, you followed me?” She inquires.

 

“You left your wallet.” Chaewon simply says.

 

“Ah,” Hyejoo mutters. She takes the item Chaewon passes with her free hand as the other one is still occupied with holding onto Chaewon’s.

 

The silence drags on painfully slow and the older girl just looks ahead with narrowed eyes while Hyejoo continues to stand, facing the other way.

 

“They’re gone.” Chaewon sounds a little stiff when she speaks and it contrasts the way her thumb softly runs across the back of Hyejoo’s hand twice.

 

She must’ve noticed it too because she clears her throat and when she talks again, her voice is back to that soft, breathy tone.

 

“You can turn around now, Hyejoo.”

 

Hyejoo does exactly that. The two of them start to walk. She’s still at a loss for words but there’s a longing in her to get something across.

 

“Hey, Chae?” She calls. Chaewon looks carefully at her and she shoots her a smile. “Thanks.”

 

“Don’t mention it, Hye. I’ve got you.” Chaewon smiles back and then repeats herself. “I’ve got you.”

 

**& &**

 

Chaewon’s brain was still stuck in concepts of social norms and deviance which prompted her feet to be content with following Hyejoo from a distance. Mindlessly, she also ends up watching Hyejoo eye the curious assembly of art students, space nerds, and some other kids falling out of both niches, on their enmasse migration to the main field. Chaewon wasn’t in any particular hurry to catch up with the younger because she knew she would eventually realize that she had forgotten to bring her wallet with her, in her enthusiasm to volunteer to grab dinner for everyone. And they were headed to the same destination anyway. Chaewon simply didn’t see the point. But once she saw how Hyejoo had frozen in her tracks as soon as Heejin and Hyunjin pull out of the flock to reenact a cliche under-the-lamppost kiss scene, she just had to run.

 

She couldn’t let Hyejoo witness that and have her feel even more heartbroken than she already is. Or at least, that’s what she thinks she feels.

 

Because they’ve both been occupied with school stuff over the past few days, they haven’t really had the chance to talk after the picnic on the rooftop, so she can’t be sure. And Chaewon did keep wanting to ask Hyejoo how she’s faring with not being around her best friends but she didn’t know how (and yes, they still have socio class together, but Hyejoo’s moved seats to sit with her now). She thought it was cute when Hyejoo expressed her desire to get to know Yerim and Yeojin, and it shows that she really does want to befriend them. But now that Chaewon thinks about it deeply, she realizes just how lonely this whole ordeal has left her and that adds a sad twist to her longing of making new friends.

 

Chaewon looks at Hyejoo carefully. Past the lazy, uncaring surface, there is a crinkle in her eyes that reminds her of a swing set at sundown on a November evening, when all the children on the playground have ran home to their mothers’ frantic calling. Now, Chaewon doesn’t want to jump to conclusions but she has to admit that she thinks this must be fate. She was known in their neighborhood as that kid who snuck back out to the play in the dark and got into trouble for it until her mom and stepdad just realized it was pointless trying to stop her. Although her stepbrother, Jungwoo, and Jiwoo never did stop dragging her back to the house. Which turned out unhelpful to her then aspiration of being called Princess Chacha of the West playground because screaming at Jiwoo, hitting Jungwoo, and digging her heels on the sand for resistance were not graceful.

 

As the noodle truck auntie continues fixing their orders, Hyejoo looks up at the night sky. Chaewon copies her and she sees the stars, greets them with a smile.

 

She recognizes that these are the same stars she’s wished on since she was little. She’s grown up since then but she still recalls how she wished on them endlessly to send her a pretty and badass knight that will keep her company and protect her from bad guys whenever she feels lazy to do it herself.

 

Chaewon knows that, right now, these stars are saying something entirely different to Hyejoo (because not far off, her best friend and the girl she longs for but can’t have lie underneath it, in each other’s arms), she hopes that one day she would consider being her knight. There’s no need to rush, she thinks. Because, for the time being, while Hyejoo’s stuck in that locked room of a tall tower, Chaewon will be her solace.

 

“Thank you so much, auntie. Have a great night!”

 

Hyejoo’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She looks away from the sky and turns to the younger girl to see her holding a takeout bag in each hand with a smile on her face.

 

“Let’s go?” Hyejoo inclines her head to the side, gestures to the campus gates.

 

Chaewon snatches one of the bags from her and gives her a look of mischief.

 

“Chaewon?” Hyejoo asks, worry coloring her tone.

 

Chaewon grins at her and then shouts. “Race you to the dorm!”

 

She barely catches Hyejoo blink at her because she shortly breaks into a sprint after.

 

“Last one to get there is a rotten egg!” She throws over her shoulder.

 

Hyejoo finally realizes what is going on and snaps out of her confusion.

 

“Hey! That’s not fair! You got a head start! Chaewon! Hey!” She calls after her.

 

Chaewon’s lungs burn and her legs feel like they’ve been shocked with the sudden exertion. She knows that she will be in pain later for this but when she hears Hyejoo laughing behind her and sees her speeding past her, she concludes with confidence that it’ll be all worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, yes. Whew. Sorry for the hiatus but can we pretend that I wasn't gone for over two months? If not, let's just call it a season break or something. Anyway, I'm not entirely satisfied with this as I was rusty for not being able to pick up the story for a while. But it's here as celebration for Gowon's birthday! Ugh. I love her so much. Please let me know what you all think of it. Happy Gowon Day, everyone!


End file.
